


a force of habit, a force of will

by ideallyqualia



Series: Rare Pairs [39]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Canon Compliant, Canon Universe, Developing Relationship, Fluff, Getting Together, Light Angst, M/M, Pre-Relationship, Secret Relationship, Slow Build, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-09
Updated: 2015-06-23
Packaged: 2018-04-03 14:45:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 38,302
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4104742
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ideallyqualia/pseuds/ideallyqualia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kageyama doesn't know how to be a teammate. That's what he thinks when he joins Karasuno.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [arsenicjay](https://archiveofourown.org/users/arsenicjay/gifts).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heavy spoilers anime/manga (up to end of inter high). An excuse to fill in canon with actual kagesuga.

Being considerate, giving a good first impression--that wasn't on Kageyama's mind for the first day. Hinata seemed to be the suck-up type, but he wasn't thinking either.

Kageyama slid his back along the wall, bending his head to rest his arm over his face. "This is all your fault."

Hinata snapped a foot, kicking up dust with his mouth pinched. "You're the one that served the ball…"

"Your receives  _suck_."

Kageyama crossed his arms and listened to Hinata complain and shuffle his feet. Hinata promised that he'd show Kageyama, he'd receive his stupid serve and become the ace, and Kageyama snorted. Hinata sounded close to saying something embarrassing, about determination or willpower, and Kageyama already had enough humiliation for one day. He was scowling and grumbling, but the tips of his ears still burned from the captain's threat. 

_If you lose, as long as we third years are around, Kageyama won't be allowed to be the setter._

 

* * *

 

It was hard for time to go by without Kageyama turning that match over in his mind's eye. The thud of the ball on the ground, the silence of teammates turning away, a failed toss. A  _purposefully_ failed toss, in the middle of a game, ruined by the others from his own team.

There was probably something else hidden deep in that collective gesture, but Kageyama couldn't read past the thought of being abandoned on the court and switched out. The real lesson that echoed in him was to be afraid.

Kageyama slammed the ball onto the floor bitterly.

"Was that supposed to be a serve?"

Kageyama swiveled his head to Hinata. Practicing with him wasn't working; they kept watching and criticizing each other, wasting time and just riling themselves up. Hinata's comments were flimsy, but Kageyama had actual concerns with Hinata's abilities. His reaction time was down from yesterday, his receives were consistently terrible, and he couldn't serve. 

He could see Tanaka frown and shift his shoulders, preparing to add something that could lodge between their arguments. Kageyama didn't hear the first few words.

"I'm not  _afraid_ of Daichi, but Daichi can be scary. Listen, you don't want to get on his bad side more than you already are, so don't tell him about this, and we'll be fine."

Someone's shout from the doorway startled them, and Tanaka spun around with wide eyes.

"Hey."

Kageyama recognized him as a third year, but he didn't remember a name until Tanaka repeated it in surprise. 

"Suga,  _why?!_ Why are you here?" 

Suga laughed. "You asked for the keys yesterday. You never do that. You're always late."

Tanaka bristled.

"Don't worry, I won't tell Daichi," Suga said, waving his hand down. "Besides, it's secret training. It's exciting somehow! And I came to help. I think they need it."

Kageyama turned away to pick up the ball. They were upbeat for being up so early, Kageyama had to admit. Annoying, but upbeat. They talked to each other as they returned to practicing, splitting into two pairs.

Kageyama found that he was fine with making tosses to this spiker. Tanaka was loud and followed every spike with an overconfident yell, but he didn't mess up.

Hinata wasn't paying attention to Suga. He could tell from Hinata's shouts, stray balls crashing onto the floor, and Suga's requests for Hinata to look at him. Finally, Suga just stopped completely, letting out a heavy sigh and shifting his volleyball to hold it at his side.

"Hinata, you need--"

Hinata swiveled his body to match the angle of his head, eyes fixing on Kageyama. "Toss to me, too! Kageyama!"

Kageyama jerked his head. "No way." 

Hinata kept pestering him about it, hovering around him with wide eyes and motioning for a toss. He kept it up until Kageyama was irritated enough to snap and walk away. 

It wasn't really his problem. If Hinata couldn't improve, then Hinata was going to end up benched, anyway, which would make practice with him a waste of time.

Kageyama returned to practicing with Tanaka, although he could hear Hinata's frustrated grunts and Suga's comments for Hinata. Tanaka didn't hesitate with his spikes, but his shouts were subdued, and he didn't talk as much as before. That was probably a good thing, since Tanaka's attitude was already grating on Kageyama. When everyone began to move slower, feet weighed down with exhaustion, they decided to halt practice and continue the next morning. 

Kageyama returned volleyballs to the equipment cart at a slow pace, his mouth set in a tight frown when he passed Hinata. Hinata was a bit deflated, mumbling to Tanaka with less cheer and trudging around to help clean up.

After everything was put away, Kageyama stood in blank thought for a moment. He wasn't thinking about anything in particular, eyes unfocused on the door out, but he settled on the sound of someone's footsteps approaching him.

"Kageyama…right?" Suga asked.

Kageyama turned to meet his eyes. It was for the formality of showing attention, a quiet instinct, but he sighed and turned his head more when he remembered that Suga was their vice captain. Aside from Daichi, Suga was the one Kageyama had to be polite to, if anyone.

"That's right."

Suga rubbed the back of his neck, his lips quirking uneasily. "Well, I was just wondering… Can't you toss to Hinata once in a while?"

Kageyama took in a breath and let his shoulders rise and fall. "No." 

The raised corner of Suga's mouth twisted a little. "Why not?"

"I already said why. I don't think Hinata's good enough," Kageyama said. He maintained eye contact for a second, daring Suga to say something. His problem was really with Hinata, not Suga, and Kageyama felt a little defensive being asked to cooperate with Hinata. 

Suga didn't press the topic further, stepping away with the same hesitant curve in his mouth. Kageyama took that as a cue to leave, and Suga and Tanaka left the gym to pretend they just arrived when their teammates did. Kageyama knew they weren't allowed to stick around, so he hurried out. Hinata followed him, taking off on his own at a faster speed than Kageyama.

Kageyama didn't expect to see any of them again before practice, but hours later during lunch, he heard familiar voices near the vending machine. He inserted money slowly, eyes narrowing to focus on their conversation. Hinata complained about him, which he wasn't surprised about. Listening to Suga try to twist it around, though, almost made him snort. 

"Back in that game in middle school…no matter what I did, Kageyama was there, but better," Hinata said. "If I can beat Kageyama, then that means I can play against other strong players."

"So, to you, he's the strongest player you know?" Suga asked.

Kageyama could see from around the corner, his head hidden behind the wall with his eyes peering over instead of sticking his head out. He couldn't see Suga's face from this angle, only his hand gestures, but Kageyama heard the satisfaction in his voice from pointing his thought out about strong players. Hinata was holding the volleyball between his hands, and at Suga's comment, he gritted his teeth and clutched the ball more, elbows rising and grumbles coming from his mouth. His reaction worsened with Suga's next words, words that caught Kageyama's interest. 

"He was your strongest enemy, but now he's on your team. That makes him your strongest ally," Suga said. 

There was a beat of silence until Hinata growled from the back of his throat and ground his hands into the ball.

Kageyama walked away. Despite that acknowledgment of his strength, being Hinata's ally wasn't something he could look forward to. Just being the strongest  _something_ would've been fine to him, blank space instead of partner or teammate.

Kageyama tapped his pen on his desk in class. Lunch ended, and he was sure Hinata monopolized all of Suga's time during lunch for practice. He didn't see anything special in Hinata's spikes or Suga's tosses. Suga had seniority at least, so his actual experience would show during practice and matches. Admittedly, it was nice having another setter around, even if it was overshadowed by the strain between him and Hinata. If Hinata wasn't so annoyingly proactive enough to ask Suga for help right away, then Kageyama would've approached Suga.

 

* * *

 

Secret morning practice was going as well as Kageyama expected without Tanaka helping. Suga didn't want to join and make the number odd, so Kageyama was left throwing the ball for Hinata to receive it. Hinata's stamina and speed was sort of impressive, but his poor receive technique sent the ball careening away.

Kageyama was irritated at Hinata's persistence. They didn't like each other, they didn't get along, but Hinata could still look Kageyama in the eye and knock that ball back. Kageyama didn't want to be stuck with Hinata like this, and his arm twitched in agreement, sending the ball further than he intended. 

"Crap," Kageyama muttered. His hands hovered in the air as he cringed. He shouldn't have let it get to him.

Hinata was kneeling on the floor, but at the sight of the ball flying, he took off. One huge soaring step placed Hinata's hand under the volleyball, and he sent it up as he fell to the floor. Amazingly, it managed to reach an arc towards Kageyama, and he lifted his hands to accept it. 

Kageyama had to admit, this was beyond his expectations. He couldn't deny that this speed was remarkable. The return to him may have been luck, but hitting it wasn't luck. It was as irritating as Hinata making a terrible receive.

_Can't you toss to Hinata once in a while?_

The words slid into place without Kageyama registering them, his arms moving into a toss. The ball was sent back into the air, a cleaner arc than Hinata's receive. Hinata was breathing heavily, but he still sprung up, face bright and red from exertion. He slammed the ball down with a quick arm swing, timed alongside his jump to fit the ball into his palm. Kageyama didn't think he could spike like that, judging from his ineptness in their last game.

"That was…" Kageyama's eyes flitted to Tanaka and Suga. "That was okay."

Hinata wiped his forehead with the back of his hand. He seemed downright proud of one little victory, still beaming with his mouth open.

"Let's win the game on Saturday," Kageyama said.

"Right! I--"

Kageyama span on his heel. That wasn't supposed to be a pep talk. He just wanted to win. His mouth set in a frown for the rest of practice, contemplative over just how much use he should make of Hinata, how much distance he should place between them.

He had to be careful. Kageyama didn't want to be part of a team that could crumble from lack of skill. He didn't know what else to think about that match, the crippling spear to his final game at Kitagawa Daiichi. Kageyama had been friends with them, but that didn't stop them from delivering that blow. Maybe if they had been better, if that gap in their abilities were narrower, it wouldn't have been necessary for Kageyama to sit out. Or at least, if Kageyama didn't trust them, it wouldn't have hurt.

 

* * *

 

Since their morning practice went well, Kageyama decided to let Hinata practice with him during lunch, but it wasn't going as well now. Hinata was too lost in his thoughts to be able to receive, and Kageyama took pleasure in throwing a ball at him to compensate.

"Ow!"

"Pay attention, moron." Kageyama's mouth set in a thin frown as he watched Hinata fumble for the ball.

Once it settled in his hands, Hinata tucked it to his side. He turned his nose in the air, dismissing his blunder and shifting his mouth to the side. "What do you think they're like?" 

"Who?"

"The other first years. The ones we're playing against this weekend." 

Kageyama shrugged. "It doesn't really matter. We're going to win anyway." 

Hinata shifted on his feet. "I was going to say that too! You didn't let me finish!"

Kageyama stepped forward and tugged the ball out of his hands. "Really. Stop day dreaming." 

"I'm not!"

Hinata's lips twitched in a pout, but he complied with Kageyama and received the ball in a few more times.

"At least we're not playing against our senpais," Hinata said. "They're good, probably."

Kageyama let out a grunt, more intent on practicing than talking. If Hinata sucked him into a conversation, then they weren't going to get much practice in.

"Probably," Kageyama said.

"Suga offered to toss for me so I could practice."

Kageyama stayed quiet, his chin tilting down to sharpen his concentration.

"Buuut, I said no."

Kageyama sighed, harshly enough to work his shoulders up and down. "Why," he muttered out.

Hinata frowned, face twisting in a way that didn't demonstrate actual frustration. "Because? That's cheating! Kind of!"

"Cheating…"

"He's just being nice. But you won't toss to anyone, so getting you to toss to me means that I'm good."

Kageyama bent to pick up the ball after one of Hinata's receives sent it too far.

"It means I'm desperate," Kageyama said.

Hinata's nose wrinkled as he crouched to motion for the ball again. He moved with a more noticeable skid in his feet, hurrying to plant himself under the ball and ruining his technique in the process.

He missed completely. The ball flew by, and Hinata turned his head to watch, mouth opening blankly and then closing.

Kageyama fixed him with a tired glare.

 

* * *

 

Kageyama was grateful that they were playing against other first years. Originally. He thought he'd face off against people better than Hinata, but still clumsy and ineffectual against Kageyama. And he had no problem with defending his rightful spot on the team from a couple of first years he didn't know.

Now that he was staring them down, watching one of them hold a volleyball above Hinata's head, he had the feeling that he didn't like them. Any of them. Any of the first years. He didn't think he could get along with these three. His practice with Hinata was already strained, but Hinata powered through by ignoring it and yelling at him to toss again. Hinata noticed the awkward pauses and wormed his way around them, somehow; he wasn't deaf to it. The feeling Kageyama got from the three of them together made something dark and leaden settle in his stomach, a more solid form of the tension in the air.

Hinata flailed his arms up to reach for the ball. The blond instigator ignored him to maintain a calm, steady gaze with Kageyama.

"You're Kageyama from Kitagawa Daichi, aren't you," he said. His voice was steady, too, like a false, veiled kind of calmness. His statement wasn't a question; he was confident in recognizing him as Kageyama. "What's an elite player doing at Karasuno?"

"Elite?" Kageyama repeated. His mouth twitched. Before he could counter with something, Hinata interrupted with a zealous yell. Kageyama was embarrassed for him, but he didn't feel like helping Hinata with his overreaction to everything.

"We don't care about this game, but we heard you two do," he said. "Why don't we throw the match? Wouldn't that be nice of us?" He flashed an almost genuine smile. 

"Whether you throw it or not, we'll still win," Kageyama said. Hinata nodded beside him.

The first year smiled harder. "You're pretty confident. Just what you'd expect from a king." 

Kageyama swallowed. His hands curled in a bit on his shorts, but it wasn't a strong a reaction as the flicker of a falling ball in his eyes. 

"Quit it," Kageyama snapped.

"Oh, so it's true," he said. 

"What?"

"The rumor. You know, how you don't like being called 'king.' It's fine though, isn't it? It's a cool nickname. Superior, royal, better than the rest. It suits you, your highness." 

Kageyama's throat went drier and drier as he listened silently. Kageyama stood still and let him walk by, still talking with a tiny edge of smugness in his mouth. 

"I saw that last game. Your tosses were too much, weren't they? Nothing an ordinary peasant could hit. Your team tolerated a lot from you." He shrugged. "That's impossible for me. But in the end, they couldn't do it either. Just couldn't tolerate you, of all things. A king."

Kageyama couldn't stand the bite in his voice when he said that.  _King_. There was nothing regal about rebellion, and he wasn't even their captain back then.

Kageyama stepped forward to grab this stranger's collar. He heard the other one finally pipe up with a useless shout, and Hinata stepped aside automatically, too surprised by the suddenness to scold Kageyama.

A clenched display of Kageyama's teeth lasted for only a few seconds. He was angry and tired at the same time, and the lunge did nothing except make 'Tsukki's' mouth curl more. He let go and sighed, his hand falling and swinging to return to his side.

"Looks like the king isn't such a big deal after all," 'Tsukki' said. He tossed the ball in the air, letting it drop in his hands to throw it back up again. "Tomorrow's match might not be so hard, then. If--"

Hinata leapt up, his hand knocking the ball away to carry it back down to the ground. Hinata was yelling again, bristling and pointing at everyone, gesturing everywhere with his free hand flapping around.

Kageyama fell quiet. Hinata was throwing a lot of nonsense at them, which was pretty big talk from someone who received with his face. Kageyama held his mouth shut until they left.

"We'll win tomorrow, you'll see! You two'll lose! And by a lot, too!" Hinata shouted after them.

Kageyama span around, bowing his head to shield his narrowing eyes. "Stop talking. Just stop talking already," he said lowly.

Hinata gasped, but the rush of air told Kageyama that Hinata expected it. "You're just as bad as he is! Like I thought, you've also got a bad personality!"

"Shut  _up_."

Kageyama hunched his shoulders and kept walking.

 

* * *

 

Kageyama recognized why he had a pit in his stomach. Standing in the middle of the gym, surrounded by people talking and hurrying around to set up, highlighted just how out of place he felt. There was a connection between them that Kageyama didn't think he was in on. Maybe it wasn't important to actual volleyball play, but it felt like a dull echo. A dull echo of--

_No one was there--_

"You've been really quiet," Suga said. He tilted his head in front of Kageyama, rocking forward on his feet slightly.

Kageyama was startled from his voice and sudden appearance, but he disguised it and blended it into a small fidget. "So?" he asked.

"I know you might be nervous, but…" Suga fidgeted on his feet too, but Kageyama noticed that it was a genuine one. "Just don't worry about the punishment. It was really harsh of Daichi. Im surprised he said it."

Kageyama's eyebrows furrowed. "He changed his mind?"

Suga rubbed the side of his neck. "Well, no. But I just think he can. And I'm the vice captain, too. We both have to agree."

Kageyama shook his head and turned. "I'm not asking for pity. I'm not going to lose."

He walked away and crossed the floor to avoid anything else Suga might have to say. Getting sympathy from someone he didn't know was a bad sign. Weak people were a beacon for pity, people like Hinata and Yamaguchi. If someone was feeling sorry for him, then he probably looked terrible. He didn't want to look like a wreck on his first day truly practicing in this gym.

"Looking forward to seeing that toss of yours, king," Tsukishima said as he passed by, his hand to his mouth. "You don't seem so good today, but I'm sure your highness knows how to deal with it."

Kageyama glanced up at him. A mockingly pleasant smile was there, and Kageyama knew that it was intentional. Inexplicable, and Kageyama couldn't understand why it actually bothered him, but ignoring him was for the best.

 

* * *

 

Both sides in the match had an even spread of abilities. Between Tanaka's offensive power, his own balanced skills, and Hinata's sloppiness, they were toe to toe against Daichi's incredibly reliable receives, Tsukishima's strong blocks, and Yamaguchi's clumsy serves. Kageyama didn't doubt himself, but with Hinata on his team, he wasn't sure if victory was completely guaranteed. At the very least, Kageyama already had some experience practicing with Tanaka, and Tsukishima was rash enough to provoke him. Tanaka  _thrived_ on irritable energy.

It was annoying. As his temporary teammate, though, Kageyama put up with it.

What he couldn't actually stand was Tsukishima's continued taunting. His efforts backfired on Tanaka, so it was redirected back to Kageyama and Hinata.

"Do you want to know why he's known as a king?" Tsukishima asked Hinata. The court wasn't the place for conversation, especially  _this_ one, this topic for this match, but Tsukishima didn't acknowledge Kageyama's subdued silence.

Kageyama's arms fell stiff to his sides. There was no stopping Tsukishima at this point. Everyone was listening now. And it was all true.

"You can't use that quick toss anymore because that match scared you, right?" Tsukishima asked. He was pleased by the reaction he got, even more so by Tanaka trying to interrupt him. Daichi ended up silencing Tanaka.

"He's right. About that match. Tossing the ball, and having no one there to spike it… That terrifies me," Kageyama said quietly. 

Even standing on the court like this, just a practice match with two guaranteed spikers at his side, was a heavy reminder of what happened. He wasn't afraid like Yamaguchi was, shaking enough to ruin a serve and send it into the net. Kageyama had the experience to have confidence in his skill; he didn't have the aptitude to understand what else he was missing.

Kageyama still kept tossing throughout the match. Hinata could match his speed, Kageyama thought. Hinata was willing, and he was desperate to win. After one accidental quick strike, Kageyama came to expect it again, and the fear dissipated enough for him to yell.

"You need to react  _faster_!" Kageyama snapped his head to Hinata.

"Kageyama," Suga said. He bent to pick up the volleyball that Hinata missed, and everyone turned to give their attention.

Kageyama almost forgot that there were people watching. He flitted his eyes over Suga as he stood up slowly, bending back up as he continued talking.

"This is the same as you acted in junior high," he said. It was delivered in a firm voice, his eyes locking with Kageyama until he straightened. His mouth opened, firmness gone and eyes a little wide. "Uh, er, I mean… You're not that…"

Kageyama's lips pressed together. Everyone here knew he was a tyrant in the past, but they actually saw, too, Kageyama realized. Suga saw, and Daichi and Tanaka.

Suga couldn't make his next few sentences coherent. He said something about Hinata that Kageyama didn't understand too well, and Suga ended up apologizing and still continuing with his speech.

Suga sighed. "I'm a setter like you, too. Well, not  _like_ you. I don't have your skill." He idly turned the ball in his hands. "I was nervous watching you last year. It's obvious that you're talented. High accuracy, speed, awareness of everything on the court. And you saw through blockers so easily, you acted quickly and tossed to dodge them. You even have a powerful serve." Suga's head tipped down. "Those are all skills that I don't have. I was nervous watching you then, but I thought that was because I would end up playing against you."

Kageyama was silent, readjusting his feet to make himself busy. He shifted his eyes to dodge Suga's when Suga started talking about him, but they drifted back when he couldn't decide if he wanted to look him in the eye or not.

Suga lifted his head. "That's why I can't stand seeing someone with your talent ignore your teammates. You already have two next to you right now. Use them."

Kageyama noticed Hinata gawking at Suga with his mouth wide. Suga got carried away in talking, and now that everyone in the gym was staring, he coughed and rubbed his neck. A little self-conscious smile tugged at his mouth.

"Isn't there a game going on?" Suga asked after he cleared his throat.

Tanaka raised his arm to his eyes. "Suga-san…"

Kageyama glanced over Hinata. Honestly, he was jealous of Hinata's physical capabilities, and it was irritating knowing that Hinata let it go to waste in middle school. That was probably the same kind of frustration Suga felt over Kageyama's talent being hindered by his lack of teamwork.

 

* * *

 

Winning the game didn't stop Kageyama and Hinata from restarting practice after the match. The gym doors were locked, and people were trickling out on their way home, but Kageyama took out his own volleyball to practice with Hinata.

"Imagine if we can use the quick in the game against Aobajousai! Do you think we can?" Hinata asked.

Kageyama grunted and threw the ball a bit too hard. Hinata ducked instead of receiving it.

"Sorry," Kageyama said without a note of remorse. "You distracted me."

Hinata stomped his foot. "That's not my fault."

"You talk too much."

Hinata clenched his hands to his sides and growled. It didn't hold any true threat, but he still bristled alongside the noise.

They both stopped when the ball rolled back, bumping into Kageyama's feet. Their eyes traced the path the ball took, and Hinata lit up.

"Suga!"

Suga was standing on one foot, his other foot extended to kick the ball to them. After they noticed him, he returned to leaning against the wall and crossed his arms.

"Can I talk to you for a minute, Kageyama?" he asked.

"Aww." Hinata groaned and side-eyed Kageyama. "Lucky."

Hinata tried to stick around, but Suga remained quiet and lowered his chin to give Hinata a stern look. That made HInata trudge up to the bike rack to unlock his bike and ride away.

Suga returned to staring at Kageyama. "Good job today," he said.

Kageyama fidgeted until he could stuff his hands into his pockets. Getting scolded, being given talks from team captains; that didn't really happen in middle school. They were all too young and inexperienced to be able to do that to each other. The feeling that he got from Suga, especially in this moment, was a sense of leadership. An impending conversation that Kageyama knew was going to make him feel small and remind him that he was a first year.

"Thanks," Kageyama said.

"Sorry for saying what I said earlier. But I still meant it. You have to learn how to cooperate with Hinata. He's not used to having a real team, and from what I've heard, you have trouble being on one."

Kageyama let his eyes fall to the floor before trailing back up. It was dark out now, but the street lamps were on. One of the lights shined above them, bright enough for Kageyama to see the uncomfortable expression on Suga's face. Soft, but still clearly uncomfortable.

"Cooperate with Hinata," Kageyama echoed.

Suga nodded. "Just a couple minutes ago, you two were arguing. Even if you were just joking, I think it might be easy to hurt his feelings."

"You're taking his side?" Kageyama asked.

"What? No, I'm not taking anyone's side."

Kageyama crossed his arms as well, glancing down at his feet and shifting them before looking back up. "He told me you offered to toss for him for practice."

Suga brushed his hand over his hair and twitched his mouth. "I did say that. He refused, though."

Kageyama slid his eyes to the side and snorted. "I know."

"I'm just trying to help you both," Suga said. "You're both on the team now."

Suga stepped forward and dropped his hand on Kageyama's shoulder, jolting him and making his shoulders rise.

"Right," Kageyama said.

Suga pulled away, his head tilting and mouth nudging into a smile. "As long as you realize that, then you should be fine."

Kageyama moved his jaw and stayed quiet. He didn't know what else to say, and Suga didn't look like he did, either.

"Goodbye, Kageyama," Suga said, and he walked away right after. They were the last ones around, so the only sounds Kageyama heard were from the wind and Suga's footsteps leading away.

Kageyama lived close by, so the walk home was short. He dumped his sports bag on the floor of his room and flopped onto his bed.

Trying to talk with Suga was definitely awkward. Kageyama felt less words coming to his throat, even less than usual, and Suga didn't look comfortable speaking with him. Kageyama could understand, though, sort of; Suga wasn't going to be their setter for the match against Seijou. He was being sent to the bench, despite being their vice captain and main setter. Suga tried to look calm when Takeda delivered the news, but afterward, he played with his hands and shuffled his feet.

Kageyama groaned and rolled onto his side. 

 

* * *

 

Kageyama thought it over. Being their setter was mandatory for this match, there was nothing he could do about that, but Kageyama didn't want it to be expected from him to constantly be their setter until he could cooperate with the team. He didn't have the experience to orchestrate attack between teammates. And if there was anything Kageyama could understand about other people, it was the feeling of being considered a useless setter. Kageyama didn't want to be the reason why Suga wasn't playing. 

He noticed Suga watching him carefully in the next team practice on Monday. It was Kageyama's first true practice at Karasuno, since the practice match wasn't really practice, it was a competition with real stakes. Right now the team was small, so it was easy to notice Suga's quiet contemplation. Kageyama didn't like staring, but he could see out of the corners of his eyes. Suga watched him serve, receive, run, and especially toss. He seemed worried, but it was hard to read the furrowed eyebrows and still shoulders as worry. There was just hesitance weighing through Suga somehow.

It was noticeable enough to make Kageyama eye him in return. Furtively.

"Pay attention!" Hinata yelled. He threw a volleyball, and Kageyama ducked on instinct from the shout.

"I am!"

"You're such a liar. And a hypocrite!" Hinata waved a fist. "Stop telling me to pay attention when you don't even do it."

Kageyama pushed at Hinata's shoulder to move him aside, intent on picking up the volleyball. He was trying not to yell back, and he wanted to hold the ball between his hands to distract himself. he knew Suga was looking at them.

He still ended up stomping on Hinata's foot when Hinata wouldn't let it go.

"You've wasted so much time complaining. You just made it worse," Kageyama muttered.

Hinata stuck out his tongue and took off running. Kageyama almost followed, but after a step he realized that it was useless. He sighed and let his shoulders drop.

After practice, Kageyama and Hinata stuck around again with a volleyball to practice alone together. 

"The gym doesn't look locked yet," Hinata said. He rose on his toes and leaned to the side to look at the door. "I think someone's inside."

Kageyama was going to tell him to stop being nosy, but when he heard Daichi and Suga's voices, he gave in. He stepped closer and elbowed Hinata, making way for himself to listen at the door.

"What are they saying?" Hinata asked.

Kageyama hissed at him. "I can't hear. Stop talking," he whispered.

Hinata grimaced and wriggled to press his ear up on the door. He moved his hand to mimic Kageyama talking, and he muttered under his breath in a forced, deep voice until Kageyama slapped at his hand.

"Sorry, Daichi," Suga said. The voices were muffled by the walls, and they couldn't see, but it was definitely Suga speaking.

"It's fine, don't worry about it. We're both still learning."

"It's fine for  _you_. You're captain. I'm terrible at this. At talking, leading--"

"I can't tell what they're saying," Hinata whispered.

"Idiot." Kageyama pressed his hand against his forehead. "I give up. Let's go. I can't hear anything when you move around so much and complain." He actually heard a few words between them, but Hinata's talking cut them off, and Kageyama didn't think he cared about Daichi and Suga's conversation.

 

* * *

 

Tuesday morning, Kageyama walked to Karasuno in silence, his hands stuffed in the pockets of his jacket. The sun was blocked by clouds today, so most of the sky was grey. It wasn't raining, but the wind had a similar, slight chill that made Kageyama wish he brought an umbrella.

He was traveling absentmindedly down streets, eyes tracing along the floor. Sometimes the sun was so bright that it bothered him, but right now, he was just tilting his head to allow the wind to brush against his face and hair. He didn't look up until he heard moving feet behind him.

"Kageyama!"

When he turned, he saw Suga smiling and waving. Suga was walking at a normal pace, so Kageyama paused to wait for him, head looking over his shoulder.

"Good morning." Suga's arms fell to his sides. "Do you live around here?"

"Morning," Kageyama said. "And yeah, I live nearby."

Kageyama swayed for a moment, unsure if he had to move, but Suga stepped to the side for him, taking his place next to Kageyama. Kageyama took a step and followed through on it to continue walking when Suga did.

"Daichi sometimes bumps into me on the way to school, but I guess we didn't find each other today," Suga said. His mouth was still quirked in a soft smile, but it had a nervous twitch in it.

Kageyama sensed discomfort from him again. Suga wasn't pale or standing at a noticeable distance from him, so Kageyama didn't think he accidentally scared Suga. Suga's voice didn't waver, either.

Trying to figure it out made Kageyama follow with his own nervous swallowing and glancing. He had no idea how to talk to Suga. Kageyama knew he was probably over-thinking it, but the conversation with Suga from the other night felt like it still rung in his ears, along with the one during the practice match. Already being suspected of poor teamwork, and having to be taken aside to discuss it… This team didn't trust him much, either.

Suga seemed like the kindest one on the team, at least. Kageyama was too lost to understand what Suga was saying right now, but he decided to at least try nodding and making thoughtful noises for Suga's sake. 

Once they made it to the hallways of the school, Suga gave a wave as he stepped away.

"See you at practice, Kageyama."

Kageyama made it to his desk and rested his head on the wooden surface. It was hard talking with a third year. The gap between a first year and third year in high school felt bigger than in junior high. Kageyama didn't even know what the gap  _was,_  he just had the feeling that Suga was older and more level-headed. Despite being shorter than him.

 

* * *

 

Practice had a frenzied pace to it--at least from Hinata and Kageyama's efforts.

"The match is in two days." Hinata grabbed Kageyama's arm. "What's Aobajousai like? Don't you know some of them?"

Kageyama jerked his arm away. "Barely."

"Their condition for the match is pretty…odd," Daichi said. "But there's nothing we can do about it."

"Sadistic," Ennoshita coughed. He moved his mouth into his arm.

"Why's it sadistic?" Yamaguchi asked.

"Because Aobajousai knows how much of a king he is." Tsukishima gestured at Kageyama with a lazy hand.

Kageyama turned away. He didn't want to hear Tsukishima dig that up again. Instead he headed to the sideline to pick up his water bottle and take a quick drink. Suga, Tanaka, and Kinoshita were drinking water too, talking in a small circle between sips.

"You don't have to try so hard, Suga," Tanaka said.

Suga lifted his head. "I didn't think I was?"

"He meant with the first years." Kinoshita patted Tanaka's shoulder.

"What am I doing?"

"Like, y'know, talking and being real friendly with everyone." Tanaka shrugged Kinoshita's hand off. "Don't overwork yourself is what I'm saying. Such as, I don't know, offering to set for Hinata outside of practice--"

"That's not too much," Suga said.

"Sure."

"Right."

Kageyama set his drink back on the floor and walked to the center of the court. Break wasn't over, but he didn't want to spend all of it with idle feet. He extended his leg to stretch and reach for it.

He heard footsteps, and at the sight of Hinata's feet, Kageyama groaned. He didn't want to raise his head to look.

"Are we going to practice after this?"

Kageyama let out a grunt. "No."

"Why not?"

"We can't practice  _all_ the time." Kageyama's eyes flitted up, and he saw Hinata frown and kick at the floor.

"Bo-oring."

Kageyama would've practiced with Hinata, if he wasn't afraid of getting sick of Hinata. Or vice versa. They didn't get along  _that_ well, despite practicing so much. Kageyama was still irritated about their time in middle school, and he couldn't help snapping and criticizing Hinata. Their extra practice was really held together by mutual willingness and diligence.

To ensure that Hinata didn't get the chance to ask again, Kageyama hurried out of the gym and ducked away after practice ended. He slowed down once he knew Hinata wasn't following, and he ended up drifting around in his thoughts, aimless and slow walking dragging him enough to make him accidentally go down the wrong street. Kageyama span his head around to make sure no one noticed.

When he stepped onto another street, he saw Suga walking alone. Head bowed, feet moving a little slowly, his hands in his pockets and school bag hanging from his shoulders. It bumped up and down with each step, the thudding echoing the sound of Suga's feet.

Kageyama didn't know why, but the sight of Suga walking by himself reminded him of what he as thinking of before. That Suga was Karasuno's main setter, and Kageyama was making him sit on the bench for the practice match against Aobajousai. The image of Suga alone on the street might as well be one of him on the sideline.

"Sugawara-san!" Kageyama yelled. Suga turned and stopped, but he still ran to catch up to Suga. When he reached Suga, he braked his feet. "Tomorrow I'm going to be a starting member automatically, but next time, I'll take the spot properly! Through skill alone!"

Suga straightened, eyes wide. "Eh?!"

Kageyama's head caught up with him, throat going dry. He choked out a similar response, surprised that he said it out loud. 

Suga rubbed his neck, his elbow sticking out and mouth caught in that nervous smile again. "Er, well… I thought I was beneath your notice, so I didn't think you'd acknowledge anything about me. You just surprised me is all."

Kageyama's eyebrows knitted. That was kind of ridiculous. Suga was a third year, so of course Kageyama had to acknowledge him.

Kageyama tilted his head. "Why would you think that?"

"Because you're more talented than I am?"

Kageyama tightened his grip on the strap of his sports bag. "You have experience. Talent or ability won't overcome a gap in experience," Kageyama said. He tugged on the strap, his eyes narrowing in the distance. "Just look at Hinata…"

"A-ah, I get it." Suga raised his hands to stop him from continuing.

Kageyama cleared his throat and moved his weight to his other foot. "Also… There's… Things like. Trust. Having other players' trust and stuff…" Kageyama went stiff, and his eyes strayed to dodge Suga.

"Trust," Suga repeated softly. When Kageyama dared to glance back, he saw Suga's arms at his sides, a genuine, small smile on his lips.

Kageyama swallowed, still avoiding eye contact. "I'm not…good at trust. I don't do that kind of thing."

"It's something you earn, Kageyama. With time."

Kageyama's focus on the tree behind Suga became razor sharp. Time wasn't a good measurement for trust, he knew. Three years at Kitagawa Daiichi, and he didn't have anyone's trust there.

The sounds of distant shouts of Suga's name snapped Kageyama's attention back. He lifted his head. "I'm not going to lose."

Suga's mouth opened, but it curved back into a pleased smile. "Yeah. I won't, either." His face fell after a moment. "But… Kageyama, about the practice match…"

"I won't let you down," Kageyama said.

"That's nice, but that's not what I meant." Suga scratched his head. "You went to Kitagawa Daiichi, and most of your old teammates went on to Aobajousai."

"Ah, yeah, I knew."

"I mean… I thought that might be hard on you."

Kageyama shrugged. "If we were on the same team, then I'd think that. But since we're competing against each other, I'll give it my all."

Suga's mouth twisted, but after a moment it disappeared. The confusion wasn't completely displaced, veiled by a nod and approving noise. "I see."

"Well, I don't! This isn't okay," Tanaka said. He bent forward to eye Kageyama, but Suga moved his elbow to block him.

"It's fine, Tanaka. Kageyama should take the chance to learn more about being our setter. If it's a valuable match with Aobajousai, then I'm willing to make the sacrifice. Besides…"

Kageyama's eyes widened when he felt a warm hand clasp his shoulder. He bunched his shoulders up, shifting his eyes at the corners to look at the fingers tighten.

"If it's someone like Kageyama, then I'd like to see what he's made of. Karasuno's different from Kitagawa Daiichim and we have Hinata to hit his tosses." His mouth lifted, and after shaking and patting Kageyama's shoulder a little, Suga removed his hand.

"What's going on?" Ennoshita asked as he stepped up to them.

Kageyama stayed silent. Suga was about to speak for them, but Hinata piped up.

"Tanaka told me Daichi's buying us food! Nikuman!" Hinata rocked back on his feet.

Kageyama noticed the others gathering around them. It felt like the group was centered around Kageyama and Suga, so Kageyama edged to avoid the brunt of the conversation.

"I'm here, so I might as well eat, too," Tsukishima said. Yamaguchi stood next to him in the group, and he rose on his toes to glance at Kageyama.

Kageyama's head was turned to the side, but he still saw Yamaguchi's movement. He coughed in his arm and glanced around.

When Daichi stepped out of the store, he lifted a bag in the air. "Got it!" He lowered it and glanced around. "What are you guys talking about?"

"Stuff," Hinata said with a shrug.

Tanaka crossed his arms and grunted. "Suga's okay with letting Kageyama be setter. It's not okay," Tanaka grumbled.

"It's only for one practice game," Daichi said as he passed out food to everyone.

Kageyama took his share quietly, nibbling at it in thought. He was still stuck in Suga's response to Tanaka. He didn't know what  _someone like Kageyama_ meant. Was it a compliment?

He knew they were talking about him right now, but it was hard concentrating on everything at once. 

"I just have the feeling that Kageyama isn't the same as he was in middle school. It would be a mistake for his old teammates to think that," Suga said.

Kageyama looked at Suga as he took another bite. Suga glanced back at him, but his attention was diverted to Tanaka and Hinata when they spoke again.

It  _felt_ like a compliment, anyway. He was still new at Karasuno, but Suga giving out praise easily wasn't hard to believe. That was it; Suga just did it often.

The bag of nikuman wound up in Suga's hands. After everyone had some, Suga leaned over to Kageyama. "Want another?"

Suga opened it, and Kageyama peered inside. There was plenty left. He reached in and pulled on more out, raising it to his mouth to eat with larger bites.

"By the way, Kageyama, can you join us for a minute?" Daichi asked. He pointed at the store entrance with his thumb.

"Sure." Kageyama didn't know what  _us_ meant, but he assumed Daichi meant Suga, too. And it didn't sound like a lecture, thankfully. Daichi's tone wasn't irritated or mad.

When the team began to split apart and head home, the three of them walked inside the store. Kageyama visited before, so he knew where the table was to sit. He grabbed a chair and plopped down.

"I've been thinking about what to do for Hinata's position against Seijou," Daichi said. He pushed the leftover food in the center of the table to make room for a notebook.

"Since you're going to be the setter, we thought we should include you," Suga said. He bent to scoot his chair in, sliding almost until his chest came to the table ledge. 

"Include me?" Kageyama straightened. His mouth opened a bit, but when he realized it, he snapped it shut.

"That's right." Daichi pulled out a pencil. "We were considering using you and Hinata as a set."

"Oh." Kageyama's nose wrinkled, and he slumped in his seat.

Suga rested his hands on the table. "Is that alright?"

Kageyama rolled his lips together and ran his teeth over them. He didn't want to rely on Hinata, especially against his old teammates. He didn't want to think about them at all, but he could feel his chest tightening as he thought about them meeting Karasuno.

He returned his focus to Suga. They were both looking at him intently, but Suga's stare held more weight, somehow.

Kageyama dipped his head down and cleared his throat. "It's fine."

"It is? Are you sure?" Suga asked. "I know you two don't see eye to eye."

Kageyama pressed his back against his chair and shrugged. "We might as well use him. He's fast, I guess."

He felt like he was being used too, as if putting them in a set might make Kageyama only worthwhile when placed with Hinata. For first years to be starting members, there had to be extraordinary circumstances, regardless of talent.

"If you say so," Daichi said. His pencil scribbled for a while, and when he was done, he slid it forward. "I was thinking of using a set up like this."

Kageyama and Suga both got out of their seats to look. Kageyama backed away a little when he got too close.

"Tanaka, Ennoshita, and I are all wing spikers, so I thought about putting us all here," Daichi said, pointing around the sketch of a court.

"Tsukishima, Yamaguchi, and Hinata are all middle blockers. And Narita and Kinoshita can play, too. We're going to use Hinata, obviously, but…" Suga trailed off.

"I don't know anything about any of them," Kageyama said.

"Yeah, we know." Daichi tapped his notebook with his pencil. "We were wondering where to put you and Hinata first. The other spot can be decided last. We want Ennoshita here for him to get more practice in, but the other second years are content with being kept out."

It took half an hour for them to come to an agreement. Kageyama and Hinata's positions were decided pretty quickly, but Kageyama spent a while trying to convince them that Tsukishima was a terrible choice.

"I didn't realize you and Tsukishima didn't get along, either," Suga said, a disappointed frown tugging on his mouth. Daichi didn't look surprised, and he leaned over to ask Suga if he actually didn't notice.

Daichi sounded frustrated and told Kageyama he couldn't distance himself from everyone like that, but Kageyama didn't pay much attention. He was more aware of Suga's concern than Daichi's. Kageyama still thought about what Suga told him, all of the times he told Kageyama to be mindful of Hinata and toss to him--even though only a few days passed since Kageyama joined.

Kageyama gritted his teeth and mumbled that it was fine, then, to have Tsukishima be in the starting lineup. As long as they won, it didn't matter. That was what Kageyama told himself.

"Now that that's all settled, I think we're done here." Daichi packed his notebook back into his backpack. "I'll show it to Takeda and let the team know in the next practice."

"Thank god we're done." Suga lowered his head to the table.

"We've already practiced with everyone in a couple different combinations, so I think we're good for Thursday. We just have to see how everything works in a real practice match," Daichi said.

He slipped his arms through his backpack straps. Suga still kept his head on the table, his arms moving to cover his head.

"I'm going now." Daichi raised an eyebrow. "Are you coming, Suga?"

"In a little while." Suga lifted his head again, slowly. "I'm tired."

Daichi glanced at Kageyama. "Bye you two."

Kageyama remained seated and watched Daichi step through the doors. After a sigh, he moved his chair to stand and go home too, but Suga slapped his hand on the table.

"Actually, can you stay for a bit longer? There's something I want to talk to you about."

Kageyama suddenly felt cold all over, as if he was shoved into a pool of ice. He sunk into his seat, his hands clasped together and arms stiff on the table.

"What?"

Suga sat up. "Mm. I was thinking about what you said earlier. About your old teammates."

Kageyama was  _definitely_ cold, his skin was prickling with an uneasy chill.

"What about them?"

"You said it didn't bother you that you were playing against them. You said it was better than playing with them on the same team."

Kageyama maneuvered his mouth to the side and drew lines on the table with his finger.

"Didn't you say that?"

"Yes…"

He heard Suga shift in his seat. Kageyama didn't want to look and find the disappointment on Suga's face again.

"Kageyama…" Suga said softly. "Do you… Do you like being at Karasuno?"

Kageyama fidgeted and rearranged his feet.  _This_ was the type of conversation Kageyama feared. He thought it might come from Daichi, but Suga was the one to start it.

"I guess."

"That doesn't sound very convincing." Suga's voice was still low and soft, and the caution in it made Kageyama fidget again. He didn't know what to do with himself, so he tried to move his hands on the table to gather them to himself, but he ended up glancing at Suga.

Suga looked uncomfortable as well. He was rubbing his hands together and tightening his shoulders, his head tilting to a slight angle.

"I'm not good at this stuff," Kageyama said. He motioned between them with a vague hand gesture. "Talking, I mean."

"I know. Honestly, I'm not, either." Suga let out a puff of air and scratched the back of his head. "But I thought I should try."

Kageyama sat there silently, staring back at Suga with a frown twisting his mouth. He didn't know when to interject, or how. Suga was better at talking than Kageyama was, even if Kageyama got carried away trying to keep up sometimes.

"Still feel terrified of being on the court?" Suga asked.

Kageyama tapped his fingers together. "Maybe," he said in a quiet voice.

"I meant what I said earlier, Kageyama. I don't think you're the same person you were in middle school."

"You told me I was acting the same way. You said it during that first practice match."

"That was a one time thing, wasn't it?" Suga asked.

Kageyama jostled his arms in a shrug, his head turned down to mumble wordlessly.

"Well, ultimately, it's up to you to change." Suga sighed and slid his chair back to stand up. "It's getting late. We should go."

Kageyama looked up and watched him stand before getting up himself. The store was nearly empty now, and the sky outside was darkening, so Suga had a point about the time. They had school and the practice match tomorrow.

"See you tomorrow, Kageyama." Suga tugged his bag strap over his head and waved when they reached the sidewalk.

"Bye," Kageyama said. he adjusted his school bag and stood in silence as Suga walked away. He could see Suga shrink in the distance under the streetlights, and his eyes were drawn to Suga's shoulders as he flickered under the lights. It reminded Kageyama of earlier, when Suga's hand fell on his own shoulder.

Kageyama rubbed his shoulders in the same place, frowning and listening to the memory of Suga's words.

 

* * *

 

This was the final practice before tomorrow's match. There wasn't much they could improve on in such a short amount of time, they could only refine what they knew, so expecting Hinata to be able to receive at a higher level was unreasonable.

Kageyama still snapped. Even if the game was a practice one, he could  _not_ lost to his old teammates. If his team lost, then they would just think he became weak.

"You need to actually  _move_ your arms to receive," Kageyama said. He trudged up to Hinata after a failed receive.

Hinata was smiling guiltily, but at Kageyama's movement, he bristled. "I'm trying!"

Kageyama opened his mouth to reply, but he saw Suga frowning at him a few feet away. he closed his mouth and crossed his arms.

"Cutting back on the royal attitude?" Tsukishima asked.

"Both of you. Stop it," Daichi said. "The practice match is  _tomorrow_. We can't be arguing."

"Oh, I agree. It'd be nice to show Seijou up. After all, Hinata and I are both starting members." Tsukishima tilted his head to glance at Kageyama. "Thanks for that, by the way."

"I didn't help pick you because I  _like_ you."

Daichi pushed Tsukishima away by the shoulders. "Just get back to practice, you two."

Hinata dragged his feet over to Tanaka to hand him a ball to throw. "I'm just a decoy…" he mumbled.

Suga stepped closer to Kageyama. "Can you be more careful with your words around Hinata?"

Kageyama tilted his head. "More careful? Did I say something?" 

Suga pointed at Hinata. "You do. A lot. Earlier, you told him that if he fails to draw in spikers as decoy, then all of our attacks will fail. That put him on edge."

Kageyama followed Suga's hand and saw Hinata still tense, his arms too stiff to properly receive the ball from Tanaka. Hinata bent his head and apologized three times, his arms flailing and hands coming together.

"I didn't notice," Kageyama said.

Suga moved his hand to the side of his face. "I figured…" He turned his head to glance at Daichi. "Let's get back to practice. Just be careful, alright? Promise?"

Kageyama shifted on his feet. "I promise."

Suga's mouth curved in a small smile, and he took a step to pat Kageyama on the arm. "Good."

Kageyama moved his hand to the same place on his arm immediately after Suga turned away. Before, Suga just touched his shoulder, so he only felt it on his shirt. But this time it was on his bare skin. It was a brief touch, warm in a different way from Kageyama's own hand. He kept his hand on his arm as if it could seal in the memory of Suga, but after a few seconds he jerked his hand away.

 

* * *

 

Kageyama slid his arms along his desk to stretch them and yawn. All that stood between him and the match was this final class and a bus ride. The material slipped away from him easily, since he couldn't really focus on the schoolwork when volleyball was on his mind. 

Volleyball, and Aobajousai. His old team. Kageyama tried not to think about them that much, but he was going to face them today, so he couldn't distract himself from it. His throat went dry at the thought; his new team was going to meet the old one. Kindaichi and Kunimi might still be bitter about the past, and there was no telling what they could say to Karasuno. Or any reaction, really; anything they did might seem weird to his team. Kageyama didn't want them to see that he was hated.

They were probably going to call him king again.

After class ended, Kageyama made his way to the clubroom to get dressed in their team clothes, as quickly as possible to avoid talking with anyone about his former team. He stood outside and leaned against the rail to wait for the others.

Someone tapped his shoulder while he was waiting, and when he turned, he found Suga standing next to him. Suga moved his hands behind his back and bent at the waist a little to look at him.

"Hinata's already nervous about today, so--"

"I won't bother him. Got it."

Suga titled his head. "Huh? That's not what I was going to say. I was going to ask if  _you_ were."

Kageyama turned back to lean on the rail, looking over onto the ground from the second floor they were on. "I'm not. I've been to plenty of  _real_  matches."

"Oh. Right." Suga straightened and scratched his neck. "But that's not what I was getting at. I meant since… Because of your old team. I thought you might be still. But the other day you said it didn't bother you, so. Never mind."

"Eh?" Kageyama twisted to look back at him. Suga was rubbing at his arm.

"Well, as long as you're fine, then I'll go check on the other first years." Suga shrugged and walked back inside.

It didn't take that much longer for the team to head outside and line up in front of the bus. Kageyama trailed after Hinata and Tanaka as they stepped up into the bus in front of him. Hinata tugged on Tanaka's sleeve and stood up on his toes.

"Can I sit with you?"

Tanaka put his hand in the air and clapped Hinata on the shoulder. "Of course! Sit with me, Hinata!"

kageyama grumbled and rolled his eyes. He forgot about how annoying it was to pick a seat for bus rides. He watched Tanaka and Hinata run down the aisle and claim a seat in the middle, Tanaka sitting first to shuffle up to the window.

Kageyama kept going until he found a completely empty seat in the back, away from Hinata and Tanaka. They were probably going to be loud. He expected to sit alone, but after the second years were seated, Suga continued walking down the aisle to Kageyama's seat.

"Can I sit here?"

Kageyama craned his head up. "Why? There's more seats up there." He pointed with his chin at the half-empty bus. The team wasn't big enough to occupy all of it.

"Everyone else is sitting with someone. Did you want to sit by yourself?"

Kageyama's mouth pinched up. He was fine being by himself, but Suga probably wasn't. He puffed his cheek out to debate with himself for a second, and he gave in and scooted to the window. 

"Just sit," Kageyama mumbled.

Suga bent down and shimmied onto the seat, tucking his bag into his lap. "Thanks."

Kageyama crossed his arms and slid down, his feet scraping under the seat in front of him. Seijou wasn't that far, but it was still a considerable distance, so he made himself comfortable and rested against the window. The glass was hard and cold, so he ended up moving both of his hands to wedge between the window and his face.

"I hope Hinata's alright," Suga said. "I think the others are."

"He's probably fine. Tanaka's with him."

Suga wriggled. "You have a point."

Kageyama pulled his arms down for a better angle against the window. He was tall enough to see over the seats, and he could see where everyone was sitting. He was bored enough to check. Yamaguchi and Tsukishima had each other, but Ennoshita was with Daichi. The other second years sat with each other.

If Kageyama had to choose, he wouldn't have wanted to sit with anyone else. 

Hinata and Tanaka's voices started getting louder. Kageyama and Suga lifted their leads to look with mild interest, but after a yell and a gross wet noise, they jolted.

"Did he just…?"

"That's disgusting," Kageyama said. He scowled and edged further into the window.

The bus pulled over to the side of the road, and Suga stood up when it lurched to a stop. He walked over to Tanaka and Hinata, and Kageyama heard them talk for a few minutes. Daichi joined them when he couldn't take it any longer.

Kageyama sat still and turned to press his head into his hands, groaning from the delay. He shouldn't have expected anything different from Hinata.


	2. Chapter 2

Hinata stepped off the bus still a bit shaky and ill. He wobbled off the bus and held his stomach. 

"I'm sorry, Tanaka…" 

"No, it's fine. I had extra clothes, anyway." Tanaka held out a plastic bag with the dirty clothes, his hand stretched to keep it away from himself.

"I'm… I'm going to go to the bathroom…" Hinata let his hand drop as he trudged away, groaning and shuffling his feet, pale and droopy-eyed.

Kageyama wrung his wrist. "I can't believe Hinata. If he's still sick, then our quick isn't going to work. I need to remind him."

Suga brought his hands onto Kageyama's arms to calm him down. "Kageyama, he can't help it!"

"No one else is sick." Kageyama jerked his arms to wrench himself free, but Suga managed to maintain his grip.

"Tanaka, help me." 

Tanaka stepped back and arched an eyebrow to gauge their struggle. "Help with what?"

"With  _Kageyama._  He looks ready to start a fight. Kageyama, come on, let it go."

Kageyama tried to get away, but when he felt Suga step behind him, chest pressing against his back, he stiffened. Suga's arms locked with his, hands on his wrists. The only thing going through Kageyama's mind was that Suga was suddenly way too close.

"F-fine, alright, I'll stop. Just let me go." Kageyama moved his elbow to nudge at Suga's stomach, and that made Suga retreat. 

"Don't bother Hinata, then." Suga dusted himself off and hitched his bag strap up.

Kageyama followed the team around the school into the gymnasium. Some of them split apart from struggling at a slow pace, and Kageyama noticed Tsukishima, Tanaka, and Yamaguchi turn the corner up ahead. When he caught up to them, he found Kindaichi and a new volleyball player backing up with stiff arms and shoulders.

Kindaichi settled down first. "You don't scare us." He tilted his head at Kageyama lingering behind them, and his eyes flickered in recognition before narrowing. "Especially you, your highness."

Tanaka leaned over. "Do you know this guy?"

Kageyama shrugged. "From middle school."

"Oh." Tsukishima nodded to Kindaichi. "My condolences."

Kageyama felt a rush of air as someone stepped by him. Tanaka yelped, and he saw Daichi's hands grab at the backs of Tanaka and Tsukishima's shirts.

"I turn around for  _one second_ and I find you guys harassing the other team," Daichi said. He gave a quick apology and bowed to Kindaichi and his teammate before turning.

"Trouble with your team, your highness?" Kindaichi asked Kageyama.

There was something about hearing that directly from  _him_  that made Kageyama's eyes flare. "Stop--"

"Kageyama?" Suga asked. He tapped Kageyama's arm. "We should get going."

Kageyama's jaw tightened, his teeth clamping on his lip n a scowl. Kindaichi was taller now, but it still felt the same, that look in his eye. Tired, like he was sick of Kageyama and wanted to look away.

Suga tugged on his arm, his hand curling and slipping around Kageyama's elbow. Kageyama decided to let Suga continue, and he turned to stand at Suga's side. After Kindaichi was out of earshot, Suga released his arm. His hands fell to his sides.

"Old teammates?" Suga asked quietly.

"Yeah…"

"Don't let it get to you, Kageyama. He's not on your team anymore."

Kageyama frowned and rubbed at his arms. "Right."

He coughed and almost spluttered when Suga patted his back, his hand resting there for a moment.

"Come on, let's head inside." Suga angled his head to the gym.

Kageyama walked by his side to return to the rest of their team standing and chatting, waiting for them. Hinata was still in the bathroom.

Kageyama wrapped his hands around the strap of his sports bag, twisting it between his fingers in thought. Suga had a point about Kindaichi; he wasn't Kageyama's teammate anymore. Suga was. That was the way to think about it. He should just concentrate on someone like Suga to forget about Kindaichi and Kunimi. 

 

* * *

 

This was worse than what Kageyama expected. So, so much worse. Kageyama was nervous about the match, but it didn't make him mess up. He was used to fighting it, quietly overanalyzing everything but still following through on tosses.

Hinata was so clumsy that his receives sent the ball flying out of bounds. Or his spikes missed, hand tangling in the net, feet tripping over each other, or he collided with someone and left them unable to receive and spike. The first set was definitely ruined; they lost with almost a ten point difference. And they lost from a terrible serve sent right into Kageyama's  _head_.

Their side of the court went quiet. Kageyama's head was still bent from the impact, his eyes hard on the floor. His mouth twisted in restraint, clamping on the comments fizzling in his throat. He heard Tanaka and Tsukishima burst out laughing, and Daichi and Suga were yelling at them, some of it directed at Kageyama in his terse silence.

He  _wanted_ to say something. Badly. But Kageyama knew Suga was watching and listening, and Kageyama remembered the promise he made to Suga. If Hinata was going to have stage fright, then it was going to be from his own receives, not from Kageyama's words.

Kageyama trudged up to Hinata, his head still at an angle to the floor. "Hinata," he said hollowly, trying to think of what Suga would say but missing the inflection. Even though Suga mumbled sometimes, or it sounded repetitive, it still calmed Kageyama down.

Hinata returned his stare with a blank dead one, his skin pale and sweaty, his arms locked at his sides. He wasn't moving.

"Are you scared?" Kageyama asked. "Because this is your first practice match? Or that it's Aobajousai? Or you're just a first year? What are you afraid of?"

Kageyama cleared his throat and fell back when he realized he accidentally raised his voice and rose on his toes. Hinata continued to stare up at him.

Kageyama thumped his hand against the back of his head. "There isn't any  _new_ way to mess up. You've done everything. The worst you could've done already happened."

Hinata stiffened. "Wu-wuh?"

"Am I  _right_?"

"Right! You're right!" Hinata yelped.

"So if you understand, then." Kageyama pointed at the court. "Get back to moving the way you normally do!"

Hinata ducked and threw his arms over his head from the yell. When Kageyama didn't do anything but turn, Hinata lowered them.

"You're not going to do anything else?"

Kageyama twisted his head. "What? What're you talking about? Do what?"

"Get mad?"

Kageyama snorted and walked away. "Don't be stupid."

He returned to his spot and shifted on his feet, bending one knee and then the other. He heard Tanaka and Daichi say something to Hinata, but he didn't care enough to listen carefully. He was busy straining his eyes to discretely look to the sideline.

Kageyama wondered if Suga was proud of what he did.

 

* * *

 

"Good job today, Hinata." Suga clapped Hinata on the back. The whole team was crowded together, congratulating each other while still in the gym. They already did it a little, but after Takeda's speech, it started up again.

Kageyama saw Seijou walking around to clean up. They looked more shocked than upset, but the ones who were the most surprised were the people that knew Kageyama. Kindaichi and Kunimi were whispering to each other, both of them staring in Kageyama's direction.

"You too, Kageyama. We couldn't have done it without you."

Suga's voice snapped Kageyama's head back, and he was met with a bright grin, brighter than the one Suga directed at Hinata.

Kageyama's eyes went to the side of Suga. "I did what I had to."

He felt his arm jostled by Suga's hand, a good-natured touch of gratitude, before Suga walked away to talk to the others. Kageyama stood in the group with his hand on his arm, glancing over the team until everyone started to exit the gym.

Kageyama went to the bathroom before the bus could leave, and he ended up bumping into Kindaichi again. He saw Hinata hovering around the corner behind him, and Kunimi in the distance from where Kindaichi came from. Hinata was just startled, but Kunimi looked…sad.

Kindaichi didn't.

"Aren't you going to say something?" Kindaichi asked. His eyebrows were furrowed, mouth pinched and twitching.

Kageyama crossed and uncrossed his arms. There was no comfortable position to be in while standing in front of them. "I'm--"

"I don't need an apology. I wouldn't believe it anyway."

Kageyama shrugged. "What do you want?"

"Nothing. I just… It's not believable. You being  _nice_." Kindaichi made a vague gesture with his hand. "It'll wear off sometime."

Kageyama's eyes followed Kindaichi's hand until it fell back to his side.

"You were a horrible teammate, you know. We're never going to forgive you."

Kageyama turned. "Fine."

"Fine? What? No, you don't get to leave yet. I'm not done--"

"Kindaichi, maybe you should let it go," Kunimi said. He was closer now, and he was tugging on Kindaichi's arm to guide him away.

"Let it go? It  _just_ happened a couple months ago! Are you really going to let him get away?"

Kageyama was down the hallway and gone by the time Kindaichi finished those sentences. Kindaichi was too caught up in arguing with Kunimi to notice Kageyama slip away.

He saw Hinata hiding, although it wasn't really hiding. Hinata was pressed flat against the wall, as if he could blend in with its plain color. After Kageyama paused, he heard footsteps. Hinata was trying to stealthily catch up.

When Hinata made it to his side, he stretched his arms out behind him and then collected them at his sides.

"I remember him," Hinata whispered. "Shallot head."

Kageyama leaned to the side. "Shut up," he whispered back.

Hinata pouted and crossed his arms. He remained almost quiet for the walk back, except for grumbles and disgruntled noises. When they returned, Oikawa was busy chatting up Daichi.

Suga slid over to Kageyama. "So this was your senpai?"

Kageyama's face twisted for a moment. "Yeah. He was."

Oikawa was a completely different kind of senpai from Suga. Oikawa didn't actually teach him how to block or serve; Kageyama had to learn by watching. He didn't have to resort to that with Suga or Daichi.

Kageyama trailed behind Suga as they headed back to the bus. There wasn't really anything new Kageyama could learn from Suga by just watching. Or technically speaking, anyway. Kageyama thought he could toss and serve better, but if there was something else that could only be gained from experience, something more nuanced, then Suga would have the advantage. Some things just can't click without participation.

Only a few days passed since Kageyama and Hinata joined the team, so Kageyama didn't have the chance to see Suga in action as a setter. If he wanted to, he could wait until practice or a small practice match to observe. He could also just ask, but that reminded Kageyama of what Hinata said; it's sort of cheating.

Kageyama settled into the seat next to Suga and folded his arms, hunching around his sports bag. Most of them were sweaty from the game, but Suga wasn't. He was in his practice clothes, but he was as clean as this morning. Kageyama kept himself away, in the side edge of the seat, to avoid contact with Suga. He ended up shoving his bag between them to provide a wall.

Suga turned his head. "Are you alright?"

Kageyama sighed and tucked his hands in his lap. "I'm fine."

 

* * *

 

Even though they won against Seijou, there was still a lot of things Karasuno didn't have. Ace and libero aside, they didn't have a real coach, and the spread of skills among them was poor. They all needed to learn how to receive and serve for basic survival. 

"If we need an ace, I can--"

Kageyama brought his hand down on Hinata's head to slap him. "We already said  _no,_ " he grumbled.

They slowly filed into the parking lot, and now that they were all off the bus, they stood talking to each other about the Seijou match. It was already late enough for the street lamps to flicker on, but they didn't notice.

When the topic of inter high came up, Suga looked…quiet. Kageyama couldn't place it, but Suga was talking at a normal volume without sounding like he was paying attention to himself.

"Karasuno already has some of its own strengths, but if we combine our skills with the potential of our first years, then we might be able to truly compete," Suga said.

"At inter high!" Hinata raised his head. "I've heard of that before."

Daichi patted Hinata's shoulder. "We intend to go."

"I-I'll practice! A lot! Receives and spikes, I'll--"

Daichi moved his other arm to grab Hinata by both shoulders. "No, it's fine, Hinata, snap out of it," he said in a hurry.

Kageyama didn't acknowledge Hinata's outburst. He was looking at the floor from a slight angle, head tipped down but eyes unfocused on the pavement. Combining the team's strengths didn't sound like that big a deal to Kageyama. It was just a matter of picking people and adding them if they were good enough. Today was an exception, but next time, if Kageyama wanted to be on the court, it was definitely going to be a sign of merit instead of circumstance.

 

* * *

 

Kageyama tried to avoid Hinata at lunch the next day. He didn't like the nervous energy Hinata had since yesterday's inter high talk. Hinata was trying too hard and talking too fast, and it left Kageyama on edge. He ducked around to get to the vending machine, and he chose his normal milk box, picking it up and sipping on the straw. Kageyama turned to step away, but when he saw someone standing behind, him he coughed and nearly choked. 

"Ah, sorry Kageyama. I thought you knew I was here." Suga moved his hands behind his back and smiled.

Kageyama glanced over himself and wiped his hand over his shirt. He spilled some of his milk on his chest, and it darkened his shirt. Kageyama tugged his jacket to try to hide it.

Suga nudged him away and reached forward to insert money. There was silence between them, but Suga was too busy to try to fill it. Kageyama was the one to fidget, fumbling to zip up his jacket with one hand. He couldn't manage it, so he tucked both sides of the jacket under his arms and stiffly tightened his arms to his chest.

"I don't usually see you getting anything here," Kageyama said around the straw between his teeth.

"I forgot to bring a drink today." Suga bent to retrieve a bottle of water from the slot, and he twisted it open as he turned back to face Kageyama. He tilted to look at Kageyama's hands. "Do you normally get milk?"

Kageyama nodded. After he swallowed, he moved the milk box away to wipe at his mouth. "It's hard to pack it when it can't stay cold."

Kageyama heard footsteps, and he swiveled his head to check.

Suga's eyebrows creased together. "What's wrong?"

Kageyama stepped around Suga to stand behind him. Suga angled his neck to stare at Kageyama.

"Go see if that's Hinata," Kageyama said. He swayed to obscure himself, bending his knees and hiding at a heigh lower than Suga.

"Hinata?" Suga breathed out lowly. "Did something happen?"

"He's just extra annoying today." Kageyama bent more. "Pretend I'm not here."

"Oh! Suga!" Hinata poked his head out from around the corner and walked up to them. "And Kageyama!"

Suga pulled Kageyama forward by his arm. "He saw you, Kageyama."

Kageyama's shoulders fell. "Stupid Hinata."

"Want to practice?" Hinata asked.

"I don't even have a  _ball_ ," Kageyama said. He bit at his straw and slid his eyes around until he found Suga looking back at him. 

"Hinata, I think it's too late into lunch for you to start practicing," Suga said.

"But if I don't start now, then…?"

"Just wait for practice." Kageyama came to the bottom of his milk box, and he made a slurping noises until he decided he wasn't going to get any more out of it.

"Besides, it's fine. You can't improve receives overnight. There's no pressure on you,  _right,_ Kageyama?" Suga elbowed Kageyama.

Kageyama grimaced. Not at Suga's words, but the sudden light jab to his side made him bristle.

"I'm… I'm going now," Kageyama muttered. He crumpled the milk box in his hand and tossed it in the trash.

"See you at practice," Suga said.

Kageyama walked away, zipping his jacket now that both hands were free. He couldn't hear Suga and Hinata as the distance grew, but he didn't see them leave, so he assumed that they continued talking.

 

* * *

 

After school, Kageyama hurried to the gym to practice by himself. The gym was unlocked, and it was empty for the moment. The team was probably on their way, but he wanted to squeeze in silent serve practice. 

Kageyama aimed at a water bottle he fished out of his backpack. He knew how to serve, but looking at Oikawa again yesterday reminded him that he could still improve his serves. And Oikawa's were precise; it reminded Kageyama of how apparently creepy the accuracy of his tosses were.

He still kept missing the bottle. Serving was different from tossing, and the twist of his hands felt less familiar when he had to serve.

Kageyama leapt in the air, swinging his hand and sending the ball over. It looked like it was falling down in an appropriate path, right for the bottle, but Hinata slid in the way. The ball bounced off his arms, and Hinata yelped.

"You  _idiot_ , why'd you ruin it?"

Hinata was surprised from the force and it drove him backward, tripping and falling on the floor. He lifted his head from the floor.

"Did I do it?"

"Do  _what_? The ball didn't even stay on the court!" Kageyama pressed his hand to his forehead. He  _knew_ that the serve was perfect, but without the successful finish, it wasn't satisfying at all.

He grunted and picked up another ball jerkily. "Go get the ball."

"I'm going, I'm going."

Kageyama tried again now that Hinata was occupied. Another serve, headed again for the bottle, but a blur intercepted it. A new, short blur, shorter than Hinata, and the ball's rotation was actually halted, skillfully kept in bounds.

Kageyama froze and span around to see. Beyond the newcomer, he saw Daichi, Suga, and Tanaka in the doorway, running in with wide eyes.

Tanaka waved his hands. "Yuu!"

Kageyama stepped aside quietly, glancing between Tanaka and Suga with a raised eyebrow. He walked closer and bent his head.

"Who is he?"

Suga had the fondest smile when he faced Kageyama. "Nishinoya. He's a libero."

"You mean… _our_ libero?"

Suga held his arm as he shifted onto his other foot. "He's…well…"

 

* * *

 

Hinata somehow calmed down Nishinoya from his yelling. Kageyama didn't understand why there was a problem with their ace, but when he turned to ask Suga about it, he saw Suga completely silent, eyes dull and partially shielded with his bangs from the downward angle of his head.

"His receives are incredible," Kageyama said as he stood at Suga's side, both of them watching Nishinoya try to teach Hinata how to receive.

"I didn't know you could compliment someone," Tsukishima said when he walked by.

Kageyama couldn't even bring himself to respond to that. His eyes followed Tsukishima for a second before returning to Suga.

Suga sighed. "You're right. They're incredible…"

Kageyama glanced down at his hands and tapped his fingers together. For once they were both awkwardly silent, but in reverse; Kageyama felt like he was the one dragging the conversation on, and Suga was the one struggling to keep up.

"…It…would be nice to have both a libero and an ace with us…" Suga mumbled.

Kageyama made a noise in agreement. He looked between Suga and Nishinoya when he thought Suga wasn't paying attention to him, and it gave him time to appreciate the soft edges of Suga's eyes. Something in them felt the same, the solemn glimmer and listless movement of looking around the court. Watching teammates in the distance.

For a moment, Kageyama was looking at the junior high match again.

 

* * *

 

"Suga was quiet on Saturday," Hinata whispered to Kageyama.  

"No one's around. You don't need to whisper." Kageyama grabbed the volleyball out of Hinata's hands. Today, Hinata actually ran to the clubroom to carry a volleyball back, and Kageyama gave in. Hinata couldn't receive well, but a partner was still a good thing to have. Especially now that Hinata wasn't so nervous about compensating for his poor basic skills. Oikawa's comments about their receives were forgotten by this point, days later.

After a couple serves and receives, Hinata frowned as he waited for Kageyama to retrieve the ball.

"If Nishinoya came back, do you think it would make Suga happy?"

Kageyama stood up. "Obviously."

"Tanaka and Daichi looked happier, too, with Nishinoya around…" Hinata knocked his hands together, and he then lifted one to stare at it.

Kageyama lowered the ball to rest it on his hip. "What?"

"What do you mean 'what'?"

"You look like you want to do something stupid," Kageyama said.

"It's not stupid," Hinata muttered with his mouth pressed to the side.

"Do you want to practice or not?"

Hinata turned his head, mouth pressing further. "I want to meet Karasuno's ace."

Kageyama's breath came out n a clipped groan. "At least you know you're not the ace…"

Hinata hopped on his feet. "Can we go find him?"

"Find him?  _How_?"

Hinata waved his hand in a vague gesture. "Look for him in the third year classrooms?"

Kageyama couldn't believe that he was considering it. He was actually thinking it through, thinking about finding another teammate in secret, away from Suga and Daichi. Hinata had a point, though; Nishinoya seemed to make Suga and Daichi happy, and there was a chance that Asahi could too. Nishinoya wouldn't return without Asahi, and Asahi was one of their old teammates.

They ran to return the ball to the clubroom and scour the third-year hallways for Asahi. Kageyama didn't know what he looked like, and he doubted Hinata did, either, but they didn't remember that detail. The problem was solved when they found Suga talking to Asahi, anyway.

Kageyama held his arm out to keep Hinata from stepping into their view too much. They hovered at the window of the door into the classroom, doorknob turned to prop the door open a little. Random voices filtered through, but there was also the distinct mention of Asahi's name from Suga's voice.

"He's moving--"

"Shut up," Kageyama hissed. He did see Asahi move though, walking away from Suga and his clouded eyes. They didn't catch the beginning of the conversation, but Kageyama heard Asahi refuse something.

"Asahi's coming. Suga's behind him."

"Then move, moron." Kageyama yanked on Hinata's sleeve to steer him away from the door. There wasn't enough time to hide, and the door opened before they could reach the corner.

Asahi just looked at them, slowing his walk out of the room. Suga halted completely.

"Kageyama? Hinata? What are you doing here?"

Kageyama tried to open his mouth, but he realized Hinata had slipped behind him.

"I thought you wanted to meet the ace," kageyama snapped in a whisper directed to Hinata.

"You're the one who pulled and told me to hide." Hinata peered out at Asahi.

"Asahi, they're two of our first years," Suga said.

Asahi scratched his neck. "First years, huh… How many did you get this year?"

Kageyama narrowed his eyes.  _You._ He didn't say  _we._ Asahi said it casually, but he didn't even acknowledge himself being on the team. Or as an ace, either. Asahi left before Kageyama could ask about why he wasn't on the team.

"Lunch is going to end soon," Suga said. "We've been standing in the hallway too long."

"You're probably right," Kageyama said. 

"See you at practice later!" HInata waved at Suga as they walked away.

 

* * *

 

Kageyama couldn't concentrate in class. Maybe visiting Asahi and Suga was a bad idea. They barely talked to Asahi, and now Hinata was disappointed from hearing Asahi say, in person, that he wasn't coming back. The only useful thing Kageyama got out of it was information, that Asahi left because of a crushing loss against another school last year. And Suga delivering that information made it sit more uneasily with Kageyama.

Class ended, and Kageyama's notebook page remained almost entirely blank. Aside from a couple sentences where the teacher held Kageyama's focus for a minute, the rest of the scribbles on the page were wavy lines from tapping his pencil, drawings of volleyballs, and the words "increase serve accuracy" and "practice spiking" in the margin. He didn't think he would forget, but he wrote those down anyway.

Kageyama headed into the gym a little early again, although he wasn't the first one there. Suga and Daichi were already in practice clothes, standing around and talking. Kageyama caught a flicker of something heavy and dark in their faces, especially Suga's, but it smoothed into ordinary smiles when Kageyama approached.

"Hey Kageyama," Daichi said. "Want to help set up?"

Kageyama shrugged and nodded. "Sure." He let Daichi lead him to pin the net up, and Suga wheeled out the supply cart. By the time they finished, the others were there, even Nishinoya. Hinata hung by Nishinoya's side, repeatedly asking for advice and complimenting him. kageyama didn't notice it that much; he was more intent on watching Suga. He didn't remember why he started it during today's practice--it could've been from the desire to learn something new again, like he did with Oikawa and Iwaizumi, or it could've been from curiosity after seeing Suga's face before Kageyama stepped into the gym--but he kept it up. He registered the momentary pauses in Suga's breaths, the wave of emotion in Suga's face before he actually smiled, and Kageyama forgot that there was a point to looking at him.

"You know, you haven't been paying much attention today," Tsukishima said. "Are you distracted?"

Those words alone could've been out of concern, but the tone snapped it into something that made Kageyama's neck and arms prickle. For Tsukishima to acknowledge it, Kageyama had to  _really_ be distracted.

Kageyama sent him a glare and returned to practice. He was mindful of himself now, staring hard at the ball when he had to receive or block it. It didn't call for the same level of focus that setting in a match did, but Kageyama was determined to use extra effort to not let it slip.

After Nishinoya demonstrated an embarrassing way to receive, practice ended. The team left the gym after clean up, and after that, Takeda gave them news of another scheduled practice match.

"I think Sugawara-san is still bothered by what happened with Asahi," Kageyama said.

Hinata grumbled in a hum. "Nishinoya, too."

Kageyama leaned against the wall. He noticed it in Suga when they put away equipment. Suga looked more tired than everyone else, sighing more and letting things fall with heavy thuds. Sometimes it was hard for Kageyama to read people, but he  _knew_ Suga was upset.

"Suga said Asahi is the kind of person who feels responsible when things happen, but I get that feeling from Suga, too," Hinata said.

"That's…true…" Kageyama trailed off quietly. "They both feel responsible."

Kageyama let that sit for a while as Hinata rambled on about Nishinoya and Suga. Asahi was clearly guilty about that match, enough to quit volleyball, but Suga showed smaller signs of guilt.  _That_ was what clicked in Kageyama; Suga sounded guilty.

"We should do something about Asahi," Hinata said.

Kageyama's head jerked. "…What. Why?"

"Because! It would make Suga and Nishinoya feel better."

Kageyama tugged on his school bag, huffing and straightening to move away from the wall. "I don't care."

Hinata made a whirring noise. His eyes then lit up. "Then why were you looking at Suga, all concerned-like?"

Kageyama's head span to him. "What?"

"Yeah. You and Suga both looked all sad."

"No I wasn't." Kageyama coughed under his hand.

Hinata stepped in front of him, tilting his head with sparkling eyes. "Yeah you were."

"Hinata. Stop. Talking."

Hinata clapped his hands behind himself. "If you care, then you should do something!"

 

* * *

 

Kageyama couldn't believe he let himself be dragged into Hinata's "plan." It couldn't be called a plan, but Kageyama didn't need to involve himself much anyway. He stood beside Hinata as Hinata did the talking, and he stayed silent as he glanced over Asahi. 

Asahi looked scary in a way, since he was tall and had a presence that seemed to loom over shorter people. If his reaction to losing that decisive match was anything to go by, then he wasn't that intimidating a person. Kageyama didn't think Suga and Daichi would be friends with a threatening person, anyway.

Kageyama and Hinata eventually left, Hinata fighting to keep himself from twitching and bouncing.

"He really is cool," Hinata said. "Don't you think so?"

Kageyama pushed at Hinata's head. "No, not really. Let's just hurry up and get to practice."

Honestly, he didn't think it had much effect on Asahi. He didn't expect Asahi to pass by and gawk in the window, or walk through the door after their temporary coach lectured him into coming in.

"Good, now we have enough players," Ukai said. "The neighborhood association doesn't have a setter, though, so you're going to have to lend them one."

Kageyama swiveled his head around. Practice hadn't even started yet, and already there was so much happening. The thing he focused on was  _setter_ , the group Ukai brought in needed a setter, and Suga was stepping forward, away from Kageyama and this side of the court.

Suga had the same dark expression from before, not angry but solemn, like a thin layer of ice about to crack. His head was bent down, leaning forward into the momentum of walking away.

"I'm not going to give up the position to you," Kageyama said. "I'm sorry if it seems like you're…stepping down and I'm advancing."

Kageyama didn't know how to actually put it into words. Not going to to give it up sounded like Kageyama didn't want to let Suga be setter at all, but...

"I wouldn't just give it up because… If you stay setter, then… The person who deserves to be setter should be the setter," Kageyama said, ending in a mumble.

Suga's feet stopped moving. "…When… I first saw you step into the gym, I was afraid," he said quietly. Everyone was listening now, no talking or ball dribbling. "I thought we'd compete to be the setter, and that I might lose to you if I tried to compete. I know you know that already. I said it before. But when I thought about it, I was also a little relieved."

Kageyama glanced down, at Suga's sides. His arms looked limp, and his hands were in loose fists, fingers curled around air. Suga's back was to him, but Asahi and Nishinoya were standing in front of Suga, so they could see his face.

"A setter is supposed to coordinate all attacks. They have to have a strong will, steady concentration. But when the spikes made off my tosses were all blocked, I became afraid. I was scared to toss again…"

_Tossing the ball, and having no one there to spike it… That terrifies me._

"I was scared of the spikers being blocked over and over because of my toss," Suga said, more a murmur to himself than to the room.

_Suga said Asahi is the kind of person who feels responsible when things happen, but I get that feeling from Suga, too._

Kageyama's throat felt very, very tight.

"I wanted to hide in Kageyama's shadow, and let Kageyama be the one to handle it. I say I want to be setter, but I… I was  _relieved!"_

Suga's shoulders rose with the volume of his voice, hands twitching by his legs.

"If I think about the instant a spike is knocked down, I get scared, even now. But I still think that I should try. Let me toss to you one more time, Asahi," Suga said, turning to Asahi as he straightened. "I don't think I can call myself a setter if I don't try."

Suga patted Asahi's arm, and Asahi cleared his throat and nodded.

Suga's hand fell. "That's why I'm taking this side of the court, Kageyama." He threw a glance behind him, eye contact lasting until Suga turned to talk to Nishinoya.

Kageyama shuffled his feet in place and watched Suga greet Asahi and Nishinoya onto the court. Suga was smiling a little, and he still did in the middle of the match, especially after the adults complimented him on his tosses. Suga lit up after more of them, and Kageyama took the time to finally observe Suga's setter skills in action. He wasn't that fast, and his tosses didn't have precise paths into the palms of spikers, but there was steadiness to his tosses. Safe, predictable decisions, but steady.

Kageyama  _knew_ there wasn't anything to actually learn by watching Suga, but his eyes followed Suga's arms and hands anyway.

 

* * *

 

Kageyama liked to think that he didn't procrastinate on homework, since it was usually pushed back to practice or at least run. Or throw a ball into the air and catch it while on his back, which he was doing right now. Lying in bed, feet dangling off, staring at the ball as it shrunk and grew bigger until it came to his hands.

This wasn't so bad, tossing a volleyball. Kageyama would do it more often if he could, especially if there was a way to practice tossing to specific targets. Concentrating on specifics was tiring, but it was still fulfilling to do. The actual problem with tossing was that it didn't happen in a vacuum by himself. He had to be surrounded by people and pick one at a time to toss to.

Kageyama couldn't remember who he was trying to toss to when the ball kept going and fell to the floor in middle school, but no one bothered to step forward and save it. They all came to the decision to turn their backs. Kageyama hated that he still thought about it, but the fact that he kept loving volleyball and tosses meant that there was something particular about his fear. Even though he said tossing terrified him, it was the seconds after that actually did. Waiting for the spike.

Hearing Suga say that he was scared of tossing caught Kageyama's attention right away. Suga definitely wasn't afraid in the same way Kageyama was. Suga was well liked, so he didn't have to worry about spikers refusing to rely on him. His tosses would connect.

If it was anything else, then Kageyama didn't think he could understand, but this was about being a setter. Kageyama could easily understand being afraid to toss. What he couldn't was Suga's helpful willingness to  _keep_ tossing. Kageyama didn't have the same team anymore, and he tossed because he was desperate or because of lack of doubt, but Suga seemed happy to try. It felt…different from Kageyama's attempts. Suga had the kind of honest hope that Kageyama couldn't share with someone.

Kageyama sat up and held the ball in his hands. His room was too plain to look at with interest, but he didn't need to decorate the walls to zone out at them. Kageyama just sat in silence and turned the ball over, thinking about Suga, wondering if Suga thought about his failure this much.

 

* * *

 

The training camp was coming up soon, a week of just volleyball. That week was intended to be all for intense improvement, but Kageyama didn't see why they couldn't improve in the days before. 

"What kind of spike was that? Kageyama asked. He pointed at the ball Tsukishima spiked on the floor. 

Tsukishima half-turned. "What?"

"You're not trying as hard as before," Kageyama said. "That was sloppy."

Tsukishima shrugged. "I'm tired today. We all can't be like you and Hinata."

Kageyama tightened his jaw. He ignored that, but throughout practice, he kept noticing Tsukishima's slower spikes and delayed reactions. Not inexperienced delays, but deliberate, clearly to hold back yet still deliberate.

After one of Kageyama's tosses, Tsukishima made a feint instead of a normal spike. Kageyama wasn't that surprised that Tsukishima knew how to feint, but more feints came throughout their small intra-team practice match, and the other side was starting to adjust to them.

"You're feinting too much," Kageyama said, his voice a little harsh from exertion.

"Actual spikes wear me down faster."

"When we're in a real match, and you're tired, you can't run away."

Kageyama jerked his head away. Tossing and concentrating so much was exhausting for him too, but Kageyama thought it was worth it to play and improve. If it wasn't fun to begin with, then it was never going to be when they were tired and wanted to drop.

"Kageyama, I think you should try listening to Tsukishima more," Suga told him after practice.

"I did." Kageyama shoved a ball into the supply cart. "He didn't want to try that hard today."

Suga guided his hands away from the court. "We all have bad days. Don't you remember feeling exhausted once?"

Kageyama moved away, slowly, letting himself be pushed as he looked down. Suga's hands were warm from exercise, and the feeling of them resting on his wrists for a moment made him lose his train of thought.

"…What?"

Suga patted his arm and pulled away. "I know your stamina's incredible, but everyone else gets tired faster."

"You know, you pick on Kageyama a lot," Tanaka said. He stepped over and leaned forward to eye Suga.

Suga straightened. "I do?"

Tanaka nodded. "Yeah, like pulling him aside to talk. You probably need it though, Kageyama. No offense."

Kageyama snorted. For once, someone was pointing something out to Suga. Kind of. Suga was rubbing the side of his head now, mumbling and dipping his head sheepishly. He didn't notice Kageyama slip away to quietly finish cleaning up and walk out the door.

 

* * *

 

Next practice, Suga decided to have Kageyama toss to other people during spiking practice. Spikers were split between Kageyama and Suga, and Tsukishima was assigned to Suga. Kageyama knew that that was a better decision than having him toss for Tsukishima, but he couldn't help feeling uneasy about it.

Tsukishima's spikes connected more with Suga. Not that Kageyama wished he could bring that out in  _Tsukishima_ of all people, but there was still an obvious difference between spikes made from Suga's tosses and spikes made from Kageyama's. Tsukishima looked like he could dodge blockers better, too.

"Good job today, Tsukishima." Suga clapped him on the shoulder, and Tsukishima grunted from it. Suga bent forward and laughed a little when he saw Tsukishima's small grimace.

Kageyama joined Daichi in putting the net away, but when they were done, Kageyama trailed after Suga, mouth opening and closing instead of speaking. After a minute, Suga turned questioningly.

"What is it?"

Kageyama slid his eyes to the side. "You…got Tsukishima to spike better," he mumbled.

"Better?" Suga glanced at Tsukishima.

"Yeah." Kageyama shuffled his feet, his nose wrinkling. "What…what did you do."

Suga scratched his head. "I changed my tosses a little. He said he didn't like them before."

Kageyama was curious about it, but he didn't want to admit that. This was about Tsukishima, after all. Kageyama remained silent as he thought it over, and he headed out with the rest of the team through the gym and onto the sidewalk.

"I'm hungry," Hinata said. He looked up at Daichi and Suga hopefully.

"We're  _not_  eating out tonight." Daichi sighed and angled his head away with a frown.

Nishinoya raised his hand. "I'm hungry too!"

Daichi rolled his head to fix Suga with an exasperated look. They were walking together in front of the group, slowly down the street, but Hinata was at Daichi's other side. Hinata tugged on Daichi's arm.

"Shouldn't we celebrate? We're playing against Nekoma soon! Also, we never celebrated beating Seijou!"

"Hinata, it's a school night," Suga said. "Maybe some other time."

"You shouldn't have said that, Suga…" Daichi groaned.

Hinata tried to continue asking, but he remembered that he left his bike locked back at Karasuno, and he took off running. Tsukishima and Tanaka burst out laughing.

"Tanaka, didn't we pass your block a while ago?" Daichi asked. He snorted under his hand when Tanaka cleared his throat and excused himself, walking away at a fast pace.

Eventually, almost everyone had gone down their separate streets except for Daichi, Suga, and Kageyama. Kageyama suddenly felt out of place between them, since he was a first year by himself among two captains, so he looked ahead and shoved his hands into his pockets.

Daichi let out a tired sigh. "Now that we have a real coach…"

Suga and Kageyama perked up.

"What about him?" Suga asked.

Daichi brushed a hand on the side of his face, resting it at the bottom of his cheek. "If he's coach, then he's going to make team decisions. Such as, well, who's… Who's going to be setter for--"

Suga grabbed his arm. "We know, Daichi."

"Isn't he temporary?" Kageyama asked.

"Really, I don't think this is the best time to bring this up," Suga said, his head falling down a bit.

"It's just the three of us right now," Daichi said quietly.

Kageyama glanced down at the floor too. Now that the matches with Seijou and the neighborhood association were over, they actually had to choose someone to be setter. Whoever was picked, was going to be picked from skill, not because the situation called for it.

"Nothing we say will change anything, Daichi." Suga turned to gesture at the street corner. "Anyway, my house is that way."

Suga waved, and he stepped away before either of them could say anything.

Daichi kept walking down the block, and Kageyama stayed beside him, silently looking around and pressing his lips together.

"Hopefully you know what kind of person Suga is by now, because if you're chosen to be the setter, Suga would let you take the spot," Daichi said.

"I think I know that."

Daichi dropped his hand on his head and dragged it down his face. "Don't tell Suga I'm telling you this, but being vice captain is kind of hard on him."

"Why?"

"It's not that easy to explain." Daichi patted him on the shoulder. "Suga just… He's bothered by some things. I just thought you should know so you can keep that in mind. Even if Suga gives it up willingly, he's not really…" Daichi trailed off, and after a minute, he gave up and shrugged with his hands.

"Uh, my house is here now, it's that way," Kageyama said. He pointed down the other street.

"See you tomorrow then, Kageyama."

 

* * *

 

Kageyama tried doing what Suga told him--change up the tosses a little, make it easier for Tsukishima to spike--but he could barely bring himself to do it. Suga could talk to him, but Kageyama couldn't. He still remembered Tsukishima calling him  _king_ when they met.

"Your tosses are weird today," Tsukishima said. He titled his head in mock concern.

Kageyama's eyes fluttered in annoyance. "Your spikes are bad today. Again."

"They're not going to be perfect every single time."

"I meant you're not trying as hard."

Daichi stepped forward and raised his hands. "You really shouldn't, Kageyama…"

Kageyama's eyes flitted to Suga. He didn't really understand why he did it, as if he was expecting Suga to do or say something.

"It's just practice. I'm going to use as much or as little energy as I want," Tsukishima said.

Kageyama fell into a glare, but when he saw Suga shake his head, he set his mouth in a line. Kageyama swore he saw Tsukishima mouth  _king_  as he bent to pick up a water bottle.

Kageyama wasn't thinking about middle school, but at the mention of that word, his mouth clacked shut. They were on a water break from practice, so Kageyama wasn't being distracted from anything important, anything he'd have to use his hands for. They were now locked around his water bottle, forgotten as Kageyama took in a breath.  _Kunimi._

Kunimi was the one who liked to hold back and keep himself from overexertion. Kageyama never thought it through then, but he used to scold Kunimi for being a terrible decoy. Giving a half-hearted attempt at jumping and spiking was never going to fool the other team, Kageyama told him. Kunimi would shoot him a long-suffering look, or glared, or walked by with a hardened mouth. Kunimi wasn't the one who came up with  _king_ \--now that he thought about it, Kageyama couldn't remember who was responsible for that--but in the end Kunimi gave up on Kageyama's toss like everyone else.

When practice ended, Kageyama found himself edging toward Suga again. He wasn't keen on actually saying what was on his mind, so he ended up staying silent and frowning in thought until Suga turned.

"Hm? What's the matter?" Suga tugged on his school bag strap to place it on his shoulder.

Kageyama's mouth twisted up. "I'm… Do you think…"

Yamaguchi was walking by, but when he saw them talking, he stopped to crane his head between them. "I thought Tsukki was just being mean earlier when he told me something, but I think he's right. You get tongue-tied around Suga sometimes."

Both Kageyama and Suga's faces smoothed into confusion.

"How is that mean?" Suga asked.

"Did you ever think that I might need to stop to think of what to say?" Kageyama asked slowly.

Yamaguchi rubbed his neck and directed his head to only show them part of his own regretful smile. "I'm just saying what Tsukki told me."

Suga tapped Yamaguchi's elbow. "You don't have to tell us everything Tsukishima says, you know."

"I'm just saying it because I noticed it too."

Kageyama turned away stiffly. It echoed in Kageyama's head as he mulled it over, and he didn't stop trying to pick it apart until Suga pulled on his arm.

"Didn't you want to tell me something?"

The tug caught Kageyama by surprise. Kageyama had already walked out the door, so Suga followed in his steps to catch him.

Kageyama crossed his arms. "Never mind."

"Ah, um, I was thinking about grabbing a bite to eat, so… If you'd like to join me, then you can bring it up then?" Suga asked.

Kageyama was going to repeat that he had nothing to say and refuse, but Suga had a hopeful smile, head bent to give a brief questioning hum, and Kageyama gave in. He grunted out a huff of air. 

"Fine."

 

* * *

 

Suga led him to a ramen shop near their neighborhoods, in a small shopping district with just a few restaurants in the area. They walked there in a short amount of time, and while it wasn't dark yet, the sun was beginning to set. It was late enough for the place to be nearly empty. 

"Sometimes I come here with Daichi after practice, but he had a lot of homework to do. From procrastinating." Suga snorted and swirled a couple noodles in his bowl.

Kageyama lifted some with his chopsticks and ate. He was already hungry, but there was the added benefit of not being able to speak when his mouth was full, so he went for the chopsticks right away.

After a few minutes of eating in silence, Suga rested his elbows on the table and hung his chopsticks in the air with his hand, snapping them together. "What were you going to tell me earlier?"

Now that there was no edge from hunger spurring Kageyama's movements, he ate slower, chewing and looking at Suga. Suga's elbows inched forward.

"Well?"

Kageyama swallowed. After that, he swallowed again, wary of trying to bring up the topic stuck on his mind.

"Do you even think…" Kageyama's lips pressed together in a scowl.

"Yes?"

"Tsukishima won't spike," Kageyama mumbled, too low for Suga to hear.

Suga leaned forward. "What did you just say?"

Kageyama shrugged and let his hands fall onto the table. "Do you ever think that Tsukishima will stop spiking for me?"

Suga breathed. "Oh, Kageyama… Is that what you were thinking earlier?" he asked.

"No, not really," Kageyama said quickly.

Suga returned his chopsticks to the bowl, mixing the contents idly. "What makes you think that?"

"Isn't it obvious? He hates me."

"He doesn't like you, but…" Suga flattened his arms on the table. "What brought this on, anyway?"

Kageyama slipped more food into his mouth, so Suga had to wait for him to finish to get an answer. "I remembered something about an old teammate."

"Can you explain?"

Kageyama's shoulders grew tight and rigid. "He reminded me of my teammate Kunimi. I told Kunimi to stop holding back. Kunimi liked to save energy so he wouldn't get tired."

To keep himself from talking further, Kageyama stuffed more ramen in his mouth. He glanced away to chew.

Suga was quiet for a little while. "You're still thinking about your match, too…"

"My match?"

Suga poked at his food. "I noticed that we both have trouble because of one match. One match made me afraid to toss."

Kageyama scoffed. The clipped sound masked the uneasy flicker in his eyes. "Like I can ever forget what happened."

"You know… From what I saw before, I thought you were still going to have a …hard to get along with attitude. That match really did scare you."

"I'm not scared," Kageyama said weakly. He couldn't save face from that, but he said it anyway.

Suga leaned his weight more onto his arms. "I'm actually glad that you're not fearless. I don't know why it makes me feel better, but it does. It's nice to have a genius with the same problem."

Kageyama didn't like that Suga knew, but then again, the whole team knew by now that Kageyama was an arrogant volleyball player in middle school. What felt different now was Suga admitting that Kageyama was afraid, he had a problem.

Suga slurped the remaining soup from his bowl. Kageyama ate too quickly, so now he was done, and he silently waited for Suga to finish

"I guess it's time to go," Suga said. He dusted himself off as he stood up. "We live near each other, so… Would you like to walk home together?"

Kageyama didn't know if he could talk anymore today, he felt too drained, and they ended up walking in silence. The sun was gone now, so they couldn't see that far ahead, but the street lights were bright enough to let them see each other. Kageyama checked, glancing over to make sure Suga was visible, and he kept looking out of the corners of his eyes.

"Is something wrong? You've been staring at me," Suga said.

Kageyama then realized he  _was_ staring--still--and he turned his head away. "No I'm not."

Suga opened his mouth, prepared to say something, but he closed it and glanced to the side. "My house is that way."

"Goodnight, then," Kageyama said. He cleared his throat and watched Suga walk away. 


	3. Chapter 3

Kageyama caught himself staring again in the next practice, during stretches and warm ups. He didn't really catch himself to begin with, though; it was a delayed reaction to noticing that Hinata was giving him a funny look.

"Why are you staring into space?" Hinata snapped his fingers in front of Kageyama's face.

Kageyama swatted his hand away. "What are you doing?"

Hinata reached an arm to the ceiling, bending the other arm over his head to stretch. "'Stop day dreaming, moron.' 'Pay attention, dumbass'," Hinata muttered. "Take your own advice."

"You're just as bad," Kageyama grumbled back. He stepped away from Hinata to avoid further interruption.

His eyes slid back to Suga once Hinata stopped bothering him. He was trying to think of multiple things at once; what Yamaguchi said, being with Suga last night, Tsukishima and Kunimi. Trying to focus on all of them made him blank, and he looked Suga over when he forgot what he was thinking about.

Suga was stretching, too, sitting on the ground with his legs in front of him to reach for them. Suga had to bend forward at a low angle just to touch his toes, his head facing down and back in an arch. After he finished, he sat up and sighed, his hands falling on the floor between his legs. He stayed quiet with his eyes down, but when he glanced up, he straightened.

"Hey, Kageyama. You're done stretching?"

Kageyama lifted his hands and paused to look at them. "Uh… No." He picked up a leg and folded it behind him to continue."

Suga got to his feet to do the same. He couldn't stay on one leg for long, and he lost his balance and bumped into Kageyama, shoulder to shoulder. Kageyama staggered onto two feet.

"Sorry!" Suga grabbed Kageyama's arm to steady himself. Kageyama jerked away in surprise, and afterward he rubbed over the skin Suga touched.

Suga tilted his head to give an apologetic smile. He slid away to stretch at a distance, and Kageyama's eyes flickered over again.

 

* * *

 

Kageyama did think Suga "picked" on him. It did feel like Suga pulled him aside often, but Kageyama didn't know what to think about that. Suga didn't make it obvious to others, but he stepped closer sometimes, moving his head up to talk and look Kageyama in the eye. Suga told him to back off from complaining or criticizing people, or to try harder to talk with them. Kageyama hated exchanging more than a few words with some of their teammates, and he struggled to engage in actual conversation with Suga sometimes, but he discovered that he'd rather talk to Suga than the people he didn't know anything about.

The problem with Suga talking to him was that Kageyama was very aware of Suga being older than him. Not necessarily because of the actual two year gap, or Suga's rapport with the team, but because leading stretches and helping with team decisions reminded Kageyama that Suga was vice captain. Suga also helped direct practice before they had a coach, and he praised them often and smiled and patted them on the back. He personally offered to help, too, and while Kageyama also hated being given certain kinds of advice, he quietly listened to Suga when he had something to say. The fact that Suga gave him advice in the first place made Kageyama fidget.

At the end of one practice, Suga sat down on the floor in a tired flop, stumbling and almost falling over after he bent his knees to sit.

"I'm exhausted," Suga mumbled. He leaned back and balanced himself on his hands, his legs stretched out and feet dangling to the side.

Daichi paused in unpinning the net from the metal poles. "Are you coming, Suga?"

Suga made a dismissive wave. "In a minute." 

Kageyama was going to help, but everyone was moving sluggishly. It was at a slow enough speed to talk, so Kageyama didn't think anyone was concerned with hurrying to get home today.

Kageyama frowned at the ground and debated approaching Suga. Suga was sighing and grumbling, and his weight shifted to one hand as he used the other to wipe sweat off his forehead. His shirt skirted up from the movement, slipping away from the top of his sweats and showing the bare curve of his stomach. Kageyama jerked his head away after a second.

He still shuffled closer. Kageyama held his frown in place, deepening it to prevent anything else from appearing on his face, and it gave him something to concentrate on. Instead of Suga.

"Kageyama? Are you as exhausted as everyone else?" Suga asked.

"No."

Kageyama folded himself to the floor and bent one leg on top of the other.

"Well, that kind of figures." Suga nodded and tugged the bottom of his shirt back down.

"It does?"

"You never get tired. From what I've seen, anyway."

There was a trace of wistfulness in Suga's voice, but Kageyama knew he shouldn't  _hope_  that Suga was a little envious. Envy was an indirect compliment Kageyama didn't have to bother reacting to, so he took it where he could get it.

Suga grimaced when he reached his hand to his neck, twisting his wrist to massage. "I'm already a little sore.. How do you do it, Kageyama?"

"Do…?"

"I mean your endurance. You and Hinata never slow down or get tired."

Suga asked a question. It sounded like he was the one asking for advice, for once. Kageyama nearly choked when he realized that.

"I…just…I practice a lot," Kageyama said.

"Yeah, I get the feeling that you do." Suga tilted his head. "You really like volleyball, don't you?"

Kageyama made a noise from his throat and curled forward a bit to hide the embarrassed twitch in his mouth. Mentioning his attachment and history with volleyball was like having his baby photos passed around.

Suga brushed his hand against his chest to scratch and yawn. "Do you ever get a headache from playing so much?"

Kageyama shrugged. "Sometimes?"

Suga extended an arm to the side and bent the other arm around it to stretch. "Your hands don't hurt from setting and serving all the time?"

Kageyama pulled his hands into his lap. "No."

Actually, they did every now and then. Kageyama didn't just learn about serving from Oikawa, he learned his lesson about overworking when Oikawa did it in middle school. Pain was one of the things that deterred Kageyama from practicing too much.

Suga drooped forward sleepily. "I guess it's time to get up now… We've been sitting for a while." He groaned as he got up, and afterward, he glanced down at Kageyama expectantly. He offered a hand.

Kageyama almost refused it, but his hand sought out Suga's in the moment of hesitation, and he was pulled to his feet. Suga's fingers wrapping around his wrist, palm pressed against his palm, left Kageyama retreating fast. Even though he suspected the reason he moved away was the reason he accepted Suga's help to begin with.

Suga picked and preened at his practice clothes to arrange it back the way it was, yanking at the bottom of his shirt again and smoothing over his pant leg. Suga's clothes were plain, as nondescript as everyone else's. Grooming over the edges and lines crumpled from sitting didn't do anything for his appearance, but Suga still did it.

Once the gym was cleaned up, Kageyama took one last time to speak with Suga again.

"Do you ever practice at lunch?" Kageyama asked.

"Never. Wait, I did one time for Hinata. A couple days before your practice match when you wanted to join the team." Suga's eyes glimmered in curiosity. "Why do you ask?"

"Do you think you can practice with me sometime." Kageyama's mouth felt tight by the end of the sentence, pinched in a way that was sort of neutral but still pained, intense and nothing else.

"You mean, outside of regular practice?"

Kageyama nodded.

"I…" There was a beat of silence where Suga shrugged, slowly. "I don't think I have much I can help with."

"We can still--"

"Suga, we're locking up now," Daichi said. "Are you heading home now?"

"Yeah, right now." Suga turned. "Want to finish outside?"

Kageyama slid his eyes around. "Never mind."

Suga fixed him with an expectant look, but Kageyama didn't return it with his own. He threw his school bag strap on and walked past Suga.

 

* * *

 

Kageyama sometimes raced Hinata in the morning. Usually it didn't happen until they were already on school grounds, within eyesight of each other and running to reach the gym or hallway first. 

Today, Kageyama bumped into Suga again. He forgot that he occasionally saw Suga in the morning, although he didn't always feel up to approaching him. If Suga didn't see him, Kageyama managed to hang back or duck when he was suddenly overcome with the need to hide from Suga.

It was still a little cold in the mornings for this time of year. Suga had a jacket on, along with a light blue scarf wrapped around his neck. It was the same one Kageyama remembered seeing the morning of the first "practice," when Kageyama and Hinata were secretly practicing in the gym  and Suga found them. Kageyama barely noticed it then, but now he glanced over the way it sat on his shoulders with a puffy appearance, or how Suga nudged his nose down into it to shield against a sudden chill. Suga kept readjusting it, tucking it back into the top of his jacket when it fell untied from walking. 

"The training camp is in two days," Suga said. "Are you excited?" 

Kageyama bunched his shoulders up. "Not really."

"You're lying, aren't you?" Suga bent forward enough to see Kageyama's face. "Hinata's excited, too."

"Hinata gets excited for rice."

Suga snorted, but he didn't comment on it. He tilted his head down and smiled.

 

* * *

 

The first day of training camp had long practices almost back to back. They had to set aside time to prepare the place for sleeping, pulling out blankets and pillows to use for the cots.

Kageyama had to admit that so much thorough practice in a day left him tired by the time night came, but it was a satisfying kind of exhaustion that made him want to sleep. His eyes were drooping near bedtime, and he was leaning over while sitting up in his cot.

"What do you think Nekoma's like?" Hinata asked.

"Coach Ukai said they're pretty good, didn't he?" Yamaguchi asked back. "I wonder what they expect from us."

"I think they've heard that we're the 'flightless crows'," Suga said. "We haven't played against them for a long time, so at the very least, they'd assume something went wrong somewhere."

Hinata scooted on his mattress to jostle Kageyama's arm for his attention. "What do you know about Nekoma?"

Kageyama groaned and swatted Hinata's hand away, his eyelids fluttering sluggishly. "No."

Hinata's nose wrinkled. "That wasn't a yes or no question."

Kageyama let himself fall to his pillow with a grunt. He tugged his blanket over himself, all the way over his head to block the ceiling lights. It didn't bring complete darkness to Kageyama's eyes, but he didn't care that much. He just wanted to rest so he wouldn't be tired for tomorrow's practices.

"I didn't think he'd go to bed right away," Nishinoya said. "Should we be quieter?"

"Nishinoya, I heard you, Hinata, and Tanaka yelling earlier when first years were supposed to take showers."

Kageyama heard Nishinoya and Tanaka complain and try to defend themselves against Daichi, and Hinata caved and apologized. The conversation felt vague now that Kageyama wasn't focusing on what they were saying, especially when he wasn't looking at them either. He could hear some of them laughing, and Daichi scolded them again. Suga was laughing, too, quieter than the others, but he was sitting close enough for Kageyama to hear.

It didn't take long for everyone to settle down to sleep. The lights were flipped off, and some of them fumbled around to find their beds.

Someone bumped into his, and it startled Kageyama enough to crane his neck. He found Suga there, hands frozen in the air until he noticed Kageyama awake.

"Sorry, Kageyama," he said in a hushed tone. "Go to sleep."

"It's fine." Kageyama straightened to return his head to his pillow and roll over.

Suga's footsteps led away to his bed. He yawned and made sighs of relief as he stretched and crawled into bed. By the time everyone else was settled, too, Kageyama was sound asleep.

 

* * *

  
Morning was Kageyama's time for extra exercise, even in the middle of training camp. Kageyama woke up early and got dressed quietly, tip toeing around to avoid disturbing anyone. While he did it, he noticed a cot was empty, and it made Kageyama grimace. Hinata beat him to it, Hinata was already out for a morning run.

Kageyama stepped into the hallway and closed the door, holding the doorknob to the right until it shut so that it did so with a soft click. He walked down and around the corner to head to the bathroom before going outside, but when he came to the bathroom door, he stopped at a low muffled sound. Water trickling into the sink, Kageyama realized. It was probably Hinata, then.

Kageyama pushed on the door with his elbow. He almost walked past the lone figure bent over the sink, but they were too tall to be Hinata. There was a mess of grey hair too, an unkept fluff that was a sign of just getting up.

"Sugawara-san?"

He didn't expect his voice to startle Suga. Suga's hands slipped on the sink and stumbled until he could hold onto the edge. 

"Kageyama, I didn't hear you come in." Suga's voice was tight, his breathing strained as if he was congested from a cold. Instead of standing up and moving to look at him, Suga kept his back bent, shielded from the mirror. He rubbed his hands at his eyes.

Kageyama took a step and balanced his weight to the side to peer at Suga. "Are you sick?"

"No." Suga sniffed, which wasn't very convincing.

"You sound sick."

Suga cleared his throat and finally stood up. His head remained bowed as he made for the door, but Kageyama slid into the way in curiosity.

"Can you move, Kageyama?"

Kageyama lowered himself to see Suga's face, bending his knees and looking up at him. Suga's eyes were red and puffy, glistening more than usual and a bit wet in the corners.

Suga immediately moved his arm over his face, the crook of his elbow slotting against his eyes. "I'm just tired."

Kageyama got back up to his full height. "It's already morning." After saying that, Kageyama realized he wasn't being sensitive. His mouth worked open and closed in silence, and he scratched at his neck and moved his arms until he decided to stiffly cross them.

Suga let out a heavy sigh. "I talked to Coach Ukai yesterday. About…picking a setter." Suga made a vague hand gesture in the air. "I saw him and Takeda talking and looking over at us, so I figured they were already thinking about it."

"And that's why…"

"I'm sure he'll pick you," Suga said. He wiped at his eye. "Sorry. I was just thinking about it too hard. I should stop doing that."

Kageyama swallowed and fidgeted his feet. "I don't think it's your fault."

"That's nice of you to say, but--"

"We both think too much about things. You have a problem because of that one match, right?" Kageyama asked.

Suga's expression turned sheepish. "Problem? It's not just because of one match. That's…"

Kageyama maintained his stare, tilting his head slightly when Suga trailed off. 

"Well… You also…" Suga coughed under his hand. "It's funny now that I think about both of us being set back by a match, but. I don't think it's just because my toss couldn't go through. Do you know what I mean?"

Kageyama shook his head slowly. "Not really.

"I'm. I'm actually. I admit that I…" Suga became as inarticulate as the time he tried to advise Kageyama during the practice match of induction. He broke off into a murmur, his mouth twisting in frustration. "You already know that I'm glad you take the pressure off by being our main setter. Or you will be. But I'm still a little jealous," Suga mumbled, his mouth pinned in place to the side to muffle his words.

"Jealous of me?" 

"Who wouldn't be?" Suga's eyes darted up to Kageyama. "I mean, not in a bad way. Your skill is really enviable." Suga's arms crossed, the sheepish tilt of his head back. "You really are amazing."

Kageyama was going to take in a breath, but his throat seized up, and he spluttered and coughed.

"And your lack of fear in yourself, too. I think you're the perfect fit to be our setter." Suga glanced up and down Kageyama, his eyes clearing and shifting into something else. "Dressed already?"

Kageyama blinked and dropped his head to look at himself. "I was going out to run."

"I'll get out of the way, then." Suga stepped aside. 

Kageyama went to the sink. With him no longer blocking the doorway, Suga left.

Suga's sniffling replayed in Kageyama's mind. He wasn't crying, but it was still not something Kageyama wanted to witness. He didn't think it was so terrible a thing to see, though. Suga was tired, his pajamas sloppy from being slept in. Kageyama had never seen him fresh out of bed before, wrinkled clothes and dazed eyes blinking against the light, feet shuffling on the floor with socks instead of shoes. Suga had a long-sleeved shirt and pajama pants on for pajamas, and the messy appearance gave him a warm look. It made Kageyama feel a little warm, but what actually did it was what Suga said.  _Amazing_.

Kageyama splashed water on his face to shock the distraction away.

 

* * *

 

Practice was long and exhaustive again. It left Kageyama starving, and he reached for a bowl of rice as soon as one appeared on the dinner table. Hinata reached for it belatedly, and he scowled and grumbled when his hand grasped air.

"There's another one right  _there_ ," Kageyama said after he swallowed down a bite.

Yamaguchi looked like he wanted to gag. He slowly pushed away a plate of food to sip on water. He and Tsukishima commented on their appetites yesterday, grimacing and turning to avert their gazes somewhere else. Kageyama didn't understand what the deal was with wanting to eat.

Suga leaned forward a bit, his head turning to fix Kageyama with an inquisitive smile. "You're that hungry?"

Kageyama waggled a chopstick at Hinata. He chewed through another piece. "So's he."

Noises of confusion came from Hinata's full mouth. He didn't try to talk.

Kageyama didn't talk much during meals, period. Hinata managed to wedge into conversations he wasn't invited to in between bites, but Kageyama just ate. He shifted his eyes around the table to inspect everyone, giving himself something to do instead of boring a hole into the table or plate with a glance.

Kageyama paused now and then to jab Hinata in the stomach, and snap at him for bothering someone else with too many questions. Kageyama preferred to stay quiet, so he spent more time eating and staring up and down instead. When he had enough food to stave off the hunger pang in his stomach, he ate slower and poked his food. His gaze skipped back and forth, drawn especially to Suga nibbling on rice a few seats away.

There was a nagging feeling embedded in Kageyama's instinct to look, like he didn't want to be caught. And it wasn't satisfying either, Kageyama kept doing it without knowing why and without finding anything important.

Nothing interesting could be taken from it, Kageyama was sure. A blip of concentration on Suga didn't hold anything, not the curl of grey hair behind his ear, or the crinkle in his eyes and mouth when he sat forward to tap Asahi on the nose with a chopstick. Or the stretch of stomach beneath Suga's shirt when he reached his hands up to work the kinks out of his arms while sitting on the cot after dinner, groaning about being tired. He rubbed his neck too, twisting his hand to wrap around and squeeze the tension.

Suga was in his pajamas again, loose plain clothes that seemed soft and warm from use. Kageyama saw him shift on the bed, the mattress dipping to accommodate his weight, and he also watched Suga's legs fold.

"There's only a few days left until the match," Hinata said.

Kageyama ignored him. He huffed and sunk into his cot, irritated with himself over how easily Suga held his attention.

 

* * *

 

Karasuno couldn't win a single set against Nekoma. Hinata kept asking for more matches, and by the fourth time he did it, even Kageyama was exasperated and exhausted.

" _Everyone_ is too tired to move, moron." Kageyama yanked on Hinata's arm to emphasize his annoyance.

At least they had the energy to clean up and pack the equipment away, as lethargically as possible. Since this was the last day, they weren't going to need the gym anymore.

"It looks like everyone's staying, then," Daichi said after Nekoma left. The facilities they used for the training camp were within walking distance, so they were heading back on foot. Daichi glanced over the team.

"Staying? Don't you mean leaving?" Hinata asked.

"I think he means staying on the team," Tanaka said. "Our coach, libero, and ace sound permanent now."

Kageyama stared ahead, locked in thought over the matches with Nekoma. The way the team functioned was interesting, and Karasuno wasn't talking about anything important at the moment.

Suga fell into line next to him, matching his pace from where he was walking at the front of the group. "I didn't know you could spike."

Kageyama shrugged. "I didn't feel like I needed to use it until today."

"It's a useful skill to have. I don't think Hinata can do a straight spike yet," Suga said.

Kageyama remembered what Suga said the other morning, about both being jealous of Kageyama and telling him he was an amazing setter. Kageyama didn't want to rub Suga's face in anything, but he liked hearing Suga comment on his abilities and compliment him. Suga already had his attention, anyway, so Kageyama might as well have his.

"Anyone can do it. Except Nishinoya," Kageyama said.

Suga's mouth lifted into a small smile, and he gave a laugh. "In some ways,  _you_  feel like the senpai here."

Suga clapped Kageyama on the back, and Kageyama's shoulders went stiff for a moment. When he staggered into another step, Suga offered a slightly apologetic glance.

"Was that too hard? My bad."

Kageyama readjusted his jacket and squinted at him. Honestly, calling him senpai made his throat and stomach tighten, even if it was a joke. Kageyama didn't know why Suga envied him in the first place, but if Suga held him in a high enough regard to make the joke, then...

Kageyama didn't know how to finish that thought.

 

* * *

 

Kageyama was conscious of how Suga knew about his insecurities by now. There were times when Kageyama was extra conscious of it, presenting itself as minor twitchiness and fidgeting. It was easily disguised, and Kageyama never had to bring up the growing problem.

There was never any visible sign reflected in him, Kageyama thought. His eyes followed Suga a normal amount, intent on his movements on the court, not how he pulled the bottom of his shirt up to wipe sweat off his face. Not the soft-looking curve of skin in Suga's stomach and back when they changed in the locker room, or the tufts of hair that flipped up and out of place form exercise.

Kageyama had to pointedly stare into his locker when they got dressed now. Looking when someone was changing was crossing the line. He could hear lockers click open and slam closed, and the faint sound of shirts dropping to the floor to replace them with clean ones. Kageyama tried to get in and out of the locker room as quickly as possible anyway, so it wasn't that strange for him to hurry out.

During one practice, Hinata leaned over to Kageyama and muttered in a mock deep voice, "Stop day dreaming, dumbass."

Kageyama immediately stepped on his foot. Hinata snapped it up with a hiss, his nose and mouth scrunching up. The brief flicker of victory Kageyama felt disappeared when Suga passed with furrowing eyebrows. It was clearly directed at Kageyama, and it left Hinata snickering.

"He saw."

"Of course he saw. You're loud, and he turned to look," Kageyama said.

Hinata didn't even have a point about daydreaming. Kageyama didn't lose focus like Hinata; Hinata zoned out in the middle of playing volleyball because he was thinking about volleyball. Sometimes it was indirectly about volleyball, such as Hinata wishing he was tall and had the power of an ace like Asahi. If Kageyama was lost in thought, it was ensconced in what he was actually doing.

On the next serve, Kageyama "daydreamed" the ball into Hinata's knees.

 

* * *

 

Class time was a different story. Kageyama definitely lost track of thoughts in the middle of class, but he didn't care  _as_ much about the drop in concentration. Kageyama was starting to think more about the upcoming inter high matches, although Nekoma held its place in his mind now and then. Kageyama thought it would be important to remember them for later.

One thing Kageyama considered was playing against the same team that blocked Asahi's spikes off of Suga's tosses last year. Kageyama didn't have an issue with playing against his old teammates, despite their responsibility in distilling his fear. It would've been an issue if Kageyama had to be on their team. Kageyama becoming the main setter meant Suga wouldn't have to actually compete against the school, but there was still Asahi and Nishinoya's doubts.

Kageyama's scribbling in his notebook got lazier and lazier. He was beginning to feel a headache from schoolwork, and he'd rather use his energy on volleyball. Kageyama mechanically copied words off the board until class ended, and when he glanced down to evaluate the penmanship, Kageyama found the words blurred and smushed together on the last page.

His headache persisted all the way through practice, affecting his tosses enough for some of the team to notice. Kageyama's accuracy went down, and the ball wobbled in the air more when spikers swung. They were used to a spot-on toss, so when the ball didn't connect as well, Hinata huffed and eyed Kageyama. 

"That felt weird. What are you doing?" Hinata waved his hand around and pointed at the hand with his other one. "It needs to go  _gwah_ with my hand or it doesn't feel right." 

Kageyama lunged forward and grabbed Hinata's wrists to shove the hands into Hinata's hair.

"Hinata has a point. Does the ki--"

Daichi elbowed Tsukishima, with enough force to make Tsukishima stumble. It didn't erase the smug expression from his face.

Suga stepped past Tsukishima, his lecture-impending eyes caught on Tsukishima for a moment until he faced Kageyama. "Are you alright?"

Kageyama pressed his lips together and grumble. "I just have a headache." He shrugged with his gaze to the floor.

"You should take a break, then. I can set for everyone in your place."

Kageyama wanted to protest, but Suga was persistent. Suga guided him to a chair on the sideline. Kageyama crossed his arms and legs when he took the seat. A headache didn't seem like it warranted this, and Kageyama restlessly uncrossed and crossed his arms again as he watched them practice to stem his discomfort. He took a drink for a distraction, and he ended up drinking most of the water in his bottle. He didn't realize he was so thirsty, and now he was alert tot he creeping soreness of his throat.

When Kageyama attempted to rejoin practice, he ruined his first two tosses. Daichi took a step toward Kageyama with his mouth twisting to say something, but Suga strided over to him first.

"You should just go home, Kageyama. You're not going to improve like this." Suga's hands fell on his shoulders, and he pushed Kageyama to the locker room, shoving and powering through the angle of Kageyama's heels digging into the floor. Suga let go once Kageyama walked normally, but he still followed Kageyama into the locker room. 

Kageyama glanced back at him.

"Go on, get dressed," Suga said.

Kageyama snorted and turned to wrench his locker open. He forgot that he didn't enter the combination, and he twisted the knob over and over, repeatedly forgetting to stop at certain numbers.

"I've never seen you genuinely get tired before. Even with your endurance, I think it's possible for you to get overworked."

The locker snapped open. "I don't get overworked." Kageyama yanked out his clothes and street shoes. "I don't work myself  _that_ much. I stop when I have to."

He didn't judge Suga's distance from himself with Suga's voice, so when a hand patted his arm, he jolted and almost dropped his clothes.

"Take breaks now and then, okay?" Suga asked. "If you don't, it'll be obvious that you didn't."

Kageyama grunted his acquiescence. He didn't want to verbalize it, since that was more binding and Suga could probably guilt him for it.

When Suga left to return to practice, Kageyama relaxed and dressed himself at an ordinary pace. Kageyama didn't like the idea of changing in front of Suga, and that was when he realized that it went both ways-- Kageyama squirmed from glancing too much at him, but he also did from being glanced  _at._

 

* * *

 

Kageyama woke up with more than just a headache and sore throat. His vision blurred as he adjusted to the morning light streaming in through the window, and when he sat up, his body reacted with aches reverberating down to his feet. His breathing was stifled with a stuffy nose, too.

Kageyama fell back to his bed and pulled the covers over his head. His head felt foggy from being sick, so he didn't even want to fight the fatigue to go to school and volleyball practice. 

Eventually, Kageyama made his way to the kitchen for breakfast/lunch. He slurped on soup until he was full, and he dumped himself on the couch afterward so he could sit upright, where it was easier to breathe. Kageyama sat with a blanket around his shoulders and over his legs as he stared at the TV, settled with a dull sheen lit in his eyes.

His parents left for work, so when his cell phone rang on the table in front of him, he picked it up expecting it to be one of them checking on him.

"Kageyama? Are you there?"

Kageyama choked on his water. He coughed to clear his throat, although he ended up coughing for a few seconds. He placed his glass on the table.

"Sugawara-san?"

"You're sick, aren't you?"

Kageyama got a sense of smugness from Suga, as if Suga was copying Hinata's  _I told you so_  tone. 

"Sort of." Kageyama grimaced at the sound of his own voice. He sounded congested and stuffed up in the nose, and it made him feel terrible.

And then there was the fact that Suga was on the phone with him. Speaking with someone in person and hearing their voice from the speaker right in the ear were two separate things, and it was a very distinct difference Kageyama was experiencing right now for the first time, the vibration of Suga's voice tickling his ear.

"This is what happens when you work too hard. At least you got sick now, instead of during inter high."

Kageyama tried to clear his throat to speak. "How'd you get my number…?"

"It's on the team roster. I suspected you were sick when Hinata told me you didn't show up to school today. I called just in case."

Kageyama grumbled. "Hinata isn't even in my class."

Suga laughed. Except that it was different over the phone, Kageyama swore it was lighter and breathier. Maybe exacerbated by the phone static between receiver and speaker.

"You're both first years. I don't think it's hard for Hinata to find out."

Kageyama rubbed at his forehead. "So is there anything else?"

"No, I just wanted to see if you were sick."

A beat of silence passed. Kageyama's attention was swept to the TV for the moment, frozen in wanting to say something but not having anything to say.

"I assume you're going to be out for a couple days. Don't return until you're better," Suga added. "It's easy to tell if you're sick, so Daichi and I will know."

Kageyama sniffled. "I know that."

"That's what you say…" Suga sighed. "Well, feel better, Kageyama. See you soon."

The call beeped to an end, and Kageyama's hand fell to his lap, his phone following the movement. Kageyama stared down at it with a deepening sense of unease. Now Kageyama and Suga knew each other's numbers. Kageyama barely had anyone in his phone, since it was new and he just got it for the start of high school. Now, there was the question of whether or not Suga expected Kageyama to call or text him back, at some point.

* * *

 

Suga called him again the next day. He was lying in bed half-asleep, and he groaned into the phone until his consciousness caught up to the situation. Kageyama shot up, knocking over the pillow from the motion.

"Sorry. I wasn't paying attention." 

Suga made a hum of understanding. "That's fine. I didn't say anything important." 

"Then why did you call?" 

"Just to see how you were doing."

Kageyama let his head rest back onto the bed frame and he got a small thud in response. "I'm fine. I think I'll go back to school tomorrow."

"I hope you're not lying," Suga said.

Kageyama  _was_ feeling better. The only thing was the flood of warmth to his head Kageyama felt during his call with Suga. As far as he knew, he didn't have a fever. 

The sensation left Kageyama curling up while upright in bed, grumbling into the phone and pulling his knees to his chest.

* * *

 

Suga and Daichi didn't scold him for coming back "early." Two days sounded like an alright amount of time for rest to Kageyama, but they still glanced at him reproachfully.

Kageyama went back to tossing again, stiff with happiness from holding the ball in his hands. He thought he was back to normal, but at the end of practice, Suga approached him with a critical eye gliding over him.  

"You seem tense," Suga said.

"No I don't."

Suga looked up to his shoulder to place a hand there. "Yes you do." It moved to Kageyama's back as Suga stepped around him, and Kageyama's shoulders stiffened further, for a different reason now.

Suga's hands pressed in. "You  _really_ feel tense," Suga said. He pushed down on Kageyama's shoulders. "I know inter high is coming soon, but you should try to relax."

"Easier said than done," Kageyama said. He shrugged off Suga's hands.

He didn't realize that his tension was visible. Kageyama thought he hid his subdued response well under grumbles and the tight fixed line of his mouth. Playing with his hands and strangling the ends of his shirt didn't feel out of place, anyway. Kageyama didn't think he was a shy person, he was too rude to be, and he assumed that he didn't act like one either.

The tension was chronic, apparently. Suga brought up multiple times over the next few days that Kageyama was evasive and quiet, more than usual. Kageyama felt a rising heat and dry throat again, despite not being as sick as before. Kageyama scoffed to himself and rolled his eyes at the imagined problem, but a brief glance to Yamaguchi brought back what Yamaguchi and Tanaka said.

Suga "picking" on him sounded natural from a vice captain to a troublesome first year. The fact that Tanaka and Yamaguchi noticed made Kageyama uncomfortable, and that discomfort meant Kageyama actually cared that people noticed. He didn't like having someone look at him when he talked to Suga, similarly to the way he didn't want Suga to look at him. As if there was a secret message in the way Kageyama reacted to Suga.

 

* * *

 

Kageyama began to act like there  _was_ a secret he had to keep, even if he didn't know what it was. He always treated Suga with respect, backing off rom snapping at him the way he did with other people. Now Kageyama was critical of granting Suga too much kindness, or lack of rudeness anyway. Kageyama wasn't explicitly kind to Suga. 

Suga approached him once before practice, the two of them close to the wall, a few feet away from the other team members milling around. Kageyama was leaning against the wall with a bent arm, staring at Suga as he talked.

"Did you memorize the hand signals yet?" Suga asked him. "From the papers I gave you during training camp?"

A clipped sound came from Kageyama. "If Hinata can memorize it, then obviously I can, too."

He moved his arms to demonstrate with his hands, but he forgot that his arm was propping him up on the wall. The moment his arm slipped, Kageyama felt a lurch in his stomach from gravity taking effect, as well as horror and preemptive dread. He fell to the floor despite Suga's attempt to catch him. Suga's hands hung uselessly in the air instead.

Kageyama landed on his elbows. The impact stung through them, and Kageyama winced as Suga helped him up.

"Are you alright?" Suga asked.

Kageyama's mouth pinched. "I'm fine."

As Suga patted over his arms, he was very aware of snickering coming from Tanaka, Tsukishima, and Yamaguchi. He also knew that Suga was touching him, dusting him off and looking him over, but it was made worse by the presence of an audience.

Kageyama slinked away from Suga with a wrinkled nose. He leaned forward as he passed by Tanaka and the others, hoping to broadcast that he wasn't interested in a comment, but he got one anyway. 

"Trying to act cool again?" Tsukishima asked. "You looked embarrassing." 

Yamaguchi bent forward to whisper. "Why'd you do that?"

Kageyama got the sense that Yamaguchi was also making fun of him. His tone was only a little patronizing, but his mouth still curled up, in a lighter way than Tsukishima.

Kageyama stomped away from them.

  

* * *

 

Playing his avoidance off as anxiety about inter high was never going to work, Kageyama knew. He handled that kind of pressure well. He was fine with the practice match against Aobajousai, so there was no reason to think he was having trouble preparing for inter high. 

"What is going on with you? You've been acting strange," Suga said. 

Kageyama cocked his head. "I have?"

Suga nodded. "Yes," he said, with a slowness that told Kageyama Suga wasn't going to accept an empty answer.

"I didn't notice."

Suga tilted his head up more to look at Kageyama. "You know, I've noticed that it's usually when you're near me."

Kageyama didn't imagine it, then; Suga really did watch him often, lately. The realization made Kageyama alternate his weight on his feet.

"Near you?" Kageyama asked.

"You sound more distant than before. You don't look me in the eye, and you fidget. Am I doing something wrong?" 

"Something wrong?"

Suga's eyes narrowed. "Stop repeating what I say."

Kageyama's eyes flicked to the wall next to Suga. Suga swayed to return to his line of sight, and Kageyama glanced down at him. Suga was shorter, and while Kageyama forgot about that when he wasn't around, it tugged at Kageyama's thoughts during practice or any time Kageyama was standing around him. There wasn't  _that_ much of a heigh difference between them, but it was enough for Kageyama to be conscious of it, of Suga having to bend his head up slightly sometimes, or bump into Kageyama with his forehead lower than Kageyama's

"No, you're not doing anything wrong," Kageyama said.

Suga rested his hands in the air. "Then what is it?"

Kageyama's mind went blank instead of coming up with anything. He felt like he didn't know, or that he  _could_ know but didn't want to. His mouth fell open and closed.

Suga's head bent forward more insistently, moving alongside his body rocking on his toes. "Do you even know?"

Kageyama remained silent, swallowing past a lump in his throat. His eyes drifted to Suga's face, falling on the way Suga's mouth moved to talk, and his eyes settled into a confused look.

"Kageyama?"

Kageyama glanced away when he heard Daichi call their names. "Practice is going to start, Sugawara-san," Kageyama said.

Suga raised an eyebrow. "You've never called me Suga before. You only call me Sugawara."

Kageyama frowned. "So?"

"You can call me Suga, you know. Everyone else does."

"...Suga..." Kageyama said experimentally. He turned to look at Daichi. "We should go."

Suga's mouth twisted up, but he followed Kageyama anyway.

Kageyama sat on the floor to stretch, his hands extended to his foot, the other leg folding to the side. His head pivoted to catch sight of Suga stretching too, his legs splayed out comfortably as he span around to work his waist.

No one on the team had any noticeable, outstanding muscle. Kageyama wasn't really trying to pay to _that_ kind of detail, but he couldn't help noticing that Suga looked soft, with a gentle bend in his stomach and curve in his calves. Kageyama didn't know why, but he liked the loose fitting sweats Suga was wearing, and the sweatshirt that hung over his stomach and shoulders.

Kageyama's arms slumped. Thinking this about Suga was not normal. That much was obvious. Kageyama had the the feeling that the thing he didn't know about, drifting in his thoughts, was actually...something...that Kageyama didn't want to admit.

"Alright, let's line up for a warm-up run," Ukai said. He clapped his hands together to get everyone's attention. 

Kageyama stood up and jostled his legs to prepare for it. He spent a few seconds staring at Suga as he waited for the others to get ready, his eyes slipping to Suga's mouth, and the sudden bump in his chest finished the rest of the embarrassing train of thought from earlier.

Kageyama rubbed at his arms. The prickling heat was the same, but now that he knew he had a crush on Suga, it felt deeper.

 

* * *

 

Kageyama thought he could still get away with broody evasive behavior, dodging some of Suga's questions and mumbling to get out of other ones. Suga became persistent with inquiries, cornering Kageyama with the tact of someone who was really curious instead of someone who was vice captain and already had a reason to be curious.

"Are you ever going to tell me what's the matter?" Suga asked. He slid into place next to Kageyama from where Kageyama was ordering from the vending machine. Kageyama could barely remember the last time he met Suga here, he just knew that this was a terrible place to bump into Suga. In the gym, there was always something to deviate to, but alone at lunch Kageyama couldn't deter Suga. 

Kageyama wiped his hands on his pants as he waited for a milk box to deposit at the bottom of the machine.

"Kageyama. It's been a couple days now, Kageyama." 

Kageyama bent to pick up his drink, and when he stood up, he stabbed the straw into the drink and sipped.

Suga's eyes flashed, a glimmer of something that made Kageyama's stomach suddenly flip. Suga looked down at Kageyama's arm as he reached for it, his hand landing close to his wrist.

"Does this bother you?" Suga asked.

"No?"

"Really?" Suga dipped his head down again and place his hand on Kageyama's shoulder. "And this?"

Kageyama tried to brush his hand off, but Suga replaced his hand.

"Sugaw-- Suga, what are you doing?" Kageyama arched an eyebrow.

Suga grimaced. "I had a suspicion… But maybe it's nothing." He tittered and pulled away.

Kageyama's confusion led him to take a step, as if the movement could prompt an answer from Suga.

"A suspicion of what?"

"It might be for the best if I don't say it?" 

Kageyama's forehead creased. Suga was the one who approached him and brought it up in the first place.

"Alright then…" Kageyama gestured to the side. "Can I get through?"

Suga stepped aside to let him pass.

 

* * *

 

Suga alternated between asking Kageyama what was wrong and backing off to keep from saying what was on his mind. Kageyama didn't know what to make of it, but Suga gave him a feeling of nervousness. Suga both seemed nervous and made Kageyama nervous.

Kageyama didn't know if that made them clumsier than usual. There wasn't anything on the floor to trip on, but after one practice, Suga's feet skidded, and he pitched forward into Kageyama's back. Kageyama went rigid.

Suga removed himself from Kageyama by pushing off of him. "Sorry," Suga said.

When Suga tried to step away, someone walked by and brushed against him, making him fumble and bump into Kageyama, his hands catching on Kageyama's arm. This time, Suga wound up closer, his chest shoved in to squash Kageyama's arm between them.

Suga froze. Instead of moving, Suga froze, and Kageyama stood still in surprise. It was hard remembering what Suga felt like unless Kageyama was in the moment, but right now the only thing on Kageyama's mind was the warm presence of Suga's chest and stomach. 

Kageyama remained immobile until Suga retreated. Suga gave a sheepish smile and slapped Kageyama on the forearm, with a bit more force than Kageyama thought was necessary. Kageyama kept his eyes on Suga as Suga walked away, still stiff from the encounter.

Other times had different events but similar feelings of tenseness. During warm up exercises, Kageyama curled up on the floor, knee to chest or one arm to his chest and the other extended to stretch, watching Suga as he did. Kageyama felt like crushing himself to his chest with the shaky sensation hollowing his chest, like something was dropping out of his stomach and he could keep it in or he could pretend he was holding onto something.

Kageyama couldn't fool himself; he wanted to hold Suga, not just  _something._ Thinking it over didn't help, although Kageyama was prone to over-thinking problems like this. Longer silences, more unfocused stares, conversation-stalling coughs, anything to give himself time to think.

"Kageyama, for inter high, we're…" Suga's voice trailed off. "Are you listening?"

"Yes," Kageyama said with the mechanical reaction of someone who wasn't listening.

Suga shifted his hips, his weight falling on his other foot. "Oh? What did I just say then?"

After glancing at Suga's waist as it moved, Kageyama's concentration burned back into place, his eyes sharpening on Suga's face. Kageyama looked to Suga hopefully, wishing for a hint without asking for one. His sight settled on Suga's mouth, trying to replay what Suga said a couple seconds ago. Nothing came to mind, and Suga didn't say anything, he just pursed his lips and raised an eyebrow. Kageyama's eyes followed the movement, and he watched as Suga's mouth opened to sigh.

"You're not really paying attention…"

Suga pushed at Kageyama's forehead. Kageyama reached his hands up to resist, while the pressure of Suga's hand on his forehead returned him to a straight standing position. Kageyama didn't realize he was leaning forward a little before, and he drew his hands back in embarrassment.

Suga lowered his hands, and a second later Kageyama's arms were held in a light grip near his wrists.

"Kageyama," Suga said quietly, cautiously," you've been looking at my mouth for a few minutes now." 

A cold wave washed over Kageyama. Uncomfortable, too, like a cold wave with heat rolling at the end to flush his skin and leave him unable to decide what he was actually feeling.

Suga's hands gripped harder, pushing and guiding Kageyama's arms down. 

"Don't you have something to say?" Suga asked.

Kageyama wanted to say  _no_ and make an escape, but the tight grasp felt solid and omnipotent. Besides, a getaway right now could only be temporary.

"What am I supposed to say?" Kageyama asked.

"Kageyama, stop stalling." Suga let his hands drop, and he glanced around. "I don't think anyone's here, at least."

It was still morning, with plenty of time before classes would start. They didn't have morning practice today, so they weren't near the gym or clubroom, just the side of the school building where they found each other a few minutes ago.

Kageyama scratched his ankle with his foot to occupy himself. He heard Suga's feet crunch on the floor as he shifted, too.

"Kageyama, I think I know what's going on."

The discomfort Suga expressed when they first met came back, the twitching mouth and clasped hand on his own arm.

Kageyama head tilted to a lower angle. "What?"

Suga bent his head a little as well. "I've noticed you've been acting strangely lately. Daichi asked me to say something, but I think…"

Suga's voice trailed off, suspending in the air. Instead of continuing, Hinata's shout rung out, right next to them. It jolted both of them and made them jump.

"Why aren't you two going inside?"

Kageyama's head rolled to the side to face Hinata. "We're in the middle of something here."

Hinata glanced between them, blinking and pressing his mouth to the side. "Talking about what? School?"

_"No_ ," Kageyama said.

Suga took a step away. "It's alright. It's not important at the moment." He wiped his hands down the sides of his pants and then tugged his school back back to a comfortable spot on his shoulder. 

"It isn't?" Kageyama asked.

Suga coughed and turned his chin. Sometimes Suga looked a bit shy when he didn't want to talk, or wary, but right now it didn't look like either. Actually, Suga never seemed  _that_ shy, not as much as Kageyama felt when he was trapped in conversations.

Hinata tilted his head to the other side. "Well, I'm glad I found you, Kageyama. Something happened in the first year hallway."

Hinata pulled on Kageyama's arm, taking a step and trying to lead him away.

"What are you doing?"

"Taking you to see it?"

Hinata dug a heel into the floor to fight. Kageyama had no intention of arguing, so he made a heavy sigh and released the stiffness rooting him to the ground. He took a brief glimpse of Suga and saw him walking away, too.

 

* * *

 

Kageyama was sometimes stuck between wanting to be within eyesight of Suga and wanting to keep out of conversational distance. Kageyama didn't want to do or say something mortifying where Suga could see or hear.

At this moment, Kageyama regretted following Hinata, even if it meant saving himself from Suga.

"Hinata, where did these marbles come from?"

"Someone spilled them. Look." Hinata nudged a few with his foot.

There were marbles everywhere on the floor. Small round marbles, with different opaque colors clouding them and a sliver of solid color in the middle.

Kageyama kicked some away, and it caused a bunch of them to crash into others and bump around. He shot Hinata an exasperated look, eyes dull and mouth unamused.

"Is this really what you wanted to show me?"

"Yeah, but I meant to show you so you won't step on them."

"Just pick them up," Kageyama said.

"They're not mine!"

Kageyama pressed his hand down his face, with the irritated slowness that came from dealing with Hinata. There were too many marbles, enough for the marble stretch to extend from one side of the hallway to another, so Kageyama didn't want to pick any of them up either. He shuffled his feet to get through them, kicking them while Hinata watched and laughed.

 

* * *

 

Suga probably meant to bring up the talk again. Kageyama was sure he'd do it, and if it was what Kageyama thought it was, then he wished Suga  _would_ do it, so Kageyama wouldn't have to. Kageyama didn't know how to do it himself.

In practice, when Suga began a conversation with him, Kageyama went blank. Blank,a nd very painfully aware of the heat rising in his head. Thinking about it made it worse now that Kageyama knew he had a crush on Suga, and his jaw clenched with the determination of fighting off the ear-pounding, rush-to-the-face flush weighing down the sense of balance in his head.

After a few moments, Suga's delayed awareness of talking to Kageyama came, the gravity of the unfinished conversation hanging. Suga's sentences fell into halting rambles, and he had to stop himself, squeezing his lips together to pause and hold back. Kageyama was more attentive to the movements of Suga's mouth, more than before, and the distorting of his lips into a small hesitant, thoughtful pucker.

Kageyama tugged on Suga's shirt at the end of practice, directing a frown to the side as he cleared his throat.

"What were you trying to say earlier?" Kageyama asked in a mumble.

Suga turned. "What? Oh…" Suga's mouth lifted to reveal a sheepish smile. "Can we…talk about this outside of the gym?"

Kageyama tried to hide his interest, tightening his mouth and stepping aside to help clean up. Kageyama folded the net up with Suga, his eyes concentrated on the net to keep it from tangling and escaping his hands.

He didn't know how long to linger when they were done, where to trail off to and wait for Suga, how long to expect to wait for Suga. Kageyama hooked his bag over his shoulder and hovered at the door, stiffly gripping the school bag strap.

Suga waved the team away and locked the door. They were all straggling around and slowly drifting in conversations, but they drifted away from the gym. Kageyama and Suga took the longest and moved at their slowest pace, Kageyama shuffling his feet to prolong the lingering.

Suga sighed, the exhale driving his shoulders down. "Kageyama, what do you think of me?"

Kageyama straightened and opened his eyes more to listen. "What I think of you?"

Suga nodded. His head fell to an encouraging angle, eyes insistent. Kageyama was taller, but Suga's presence gave him the sensation of having to look up at Suga. It wasn't completely dark yet, but the sky was grey from clouds, and a low wind was stirring, rustling Suga's hair. Kageyama didn't want to stare.

"I think… I think you're…" Kageyama's eyebrows furrowed, his hand clasping on his wrist. "I don't think I want to say it."

Suga shook his arm. "Come on, Kageyama, I want to hear."

Kageyama dipped his head down at the sound of his voice. Suga's voice turned soft and quiet when he was focused on just one person. The way it settled at a low personal tone, eyes intently resting on Kageyama, made him take in a breath and hold a squirming sensation in his chest.

"I like your voice," Kageyama said. It was hard to get out, but it was satisfying seeing it fluster Suga and cause him to nearly choke. "And…your hair…"

"I didn't ask for compliments." Suga's mouth twitched wryly.

Kageyama didn't know what to  _say_ , though. He huffed and bristled at his lack of thoughts, words, anything he could tell Suga.

Suga leaned forward, continuing until he met Kageyama's chest. He drew an arm around Kageyama, and his shorter height made his arm fall below Kageyama's shoulders.

"I like you too, Kageyama."

Kageyama wanted to question the  _too_ part, but instead he kept still. He went rigid, tenser than he did during the times they accidentally bumped together in a similar fit. There was a knowing liquid feeling in Kageyama from being intentionally pressed against Suga, and it made him bright and hot all over.

Suga pulled away. He looked the way Kageyama felt, the way Kageyama probably looked, too. Shoulders hiked up a little, chin tucked down, teeth resting on his lip, a shy quirk in his cheek from the self-conscious smile

Kageyama twisted the fabric of his school bag with his hand, still looking at Suga but not with a direct gaze. "Uh…"

Suga was sometimes the epitome of confidence. Not that he didn't do or say embarrassing things, but he still said them and followed through. Occasionally with visible awareness of what he was doing, and it didn't stop him. He gave Kageyama a sense of forced confidence sometimes, held up despite uneasiness.

The uneasiness was especially telling right now as Suga repeatedly swallowed.

"Is it alright if I walk you home?" Suga asked.

Kageyama made a noise. He didn't know if it was a word, or a mumble, just a meaningless useless noise, but it somehow translated to a hand hold, Suga's hand slipping to pull Kageyama along.

They lived nearby, Kageyama remembered. Close to Daichi, except Daichi already went home on his own. Kageyama mentally tracked the movement of Suga's hand instead of the streets, the curl of his thumb over Kageyama's wrist, squeezes and pauses that came with their walking momentum. Suga was holding Kageyama at the wrist instead of at the hand, palm to palm, and Kageyama was grateful that his too-warm hand wasn't clasped with Suga's where Suga could feel it.

Kageyama let some of the time pass in silence, but he didn't understand what was supposed to come next after this.  _Nothing_ wasn't what he had in mind. He couldn't articulate anything about it, so he continued walking and hoped Suga would say something.

Suga's hand fell back to his side when they came to Suga's street. "My house is that way, so…"

Instead of coming up with anything else, Kageyama said, "See you tomorrow."

Kageyama felt the awkward air as Suga walked away, watching and hearing his footsteps grow fainter. Kageyama felt it even after he stepped inside the door to his own home, unloaded his bag on his desk, and flopped on his bed. It was awkward and stifling to think about, but it was a vague feeling of not knowing what to expect. Kageyama tried to replay what happened, what Suga said and the reaction in his face from saying it, how close he had been and if there was any hint in his tone on how much he meant it.

Kageyama had a terrible memory. Indulging in the present was something he didn't like doing, since it was distracting and left Kageyama uneasy with the thought of someone noticing who or what he was focused on. He moved on to what Suga thought, and imagining what Suga would do, if he had ever been in a relationship before, kissed someone, went on a date, or knew what to do on one. Imagining it probably wasn't the best idea, and even alone, Kageyama had the light inflated sensation in his stomach from embarrassment. But the thought of Suga outside of school and volleyball, outside of practice jerseys and Karasuno clothes, and in clothes he personally chose and liked, or at his house or the movies… It was nice.


	4. Chapter 4

Kageyama forgot he had Suga's number. His eyes flitted to the clock to countdown to lunch, and the vibration in his pocket made him jerk and almost fall out of his seat. Lunch started by now, and the bell rang a minute ago, so it wasn't interrupting class. It was still a shock that his phone went off, since no one ever called Kageyama or sent messages. Kageyama didn't relax until he checked and found Suga's name staring back at him.  

"Want to have lunch?"

Kageyama usually ate in the classroom, sometimes offering a noncommittal word of agreement to what the first years were saying to him. He didn't want to sit in a third year room with Suga, where Daichi and Asahi could see and question why he was there. Suga offered to sit outside for lunch when Kageyama had trouble saying where to eat, and they decided on the grass right outside.

Kageyama remained motionless as Suga sat down after finding him. He didn't turn to look, he kept his eyes on his food until he decided to reach for it and eat. 

"Do you have a lot of homework today?" Suga asked in between bites.

"Not really. Why?"

"Do you want to come over? Last night, you sounded like you wanted to, but you didn't say it."

Kageyama shifted on the floor with a frown. Suga was way too perceptive.

"Can I?"

Suga gave a small laugh, his shoulders rising along with the noise. "Why don't you just ask right when you wanted to? I'll say yes."

Kageyama's nose wrinkled, a flicker of indignation that made his eye twitch. "I didn't feel like asking."

Sandwich still in hand, Suga leaned his weight over, hovering by Kageyama's arm. "Are you okay with me leaning on you?"

Kageyama's eyelids lowered to a dull level. "We shouldn't ask for every little thing."

"I'll keep that in mind." Suga moved to completely lean on him, head landing on Kageyama's shoulder. The weight sunk and pushed down on him, making him squirm a bit.

"Isn't it hard eating like that?" Kageyama asked, ignoring the press of Suga's head on him.

"Nope."

Suga resumed eating, the chewing motion from his mouth making his head rub against Kageyama. Suga's hair ruffled alongside it, and Kageyama ignored that too.

When Kageyama heard footsteps, he flinched up and slid away, eyes briefly going wide as he flipped to see.

It wasn't anyone they knew. Kageyama's heart beat out of his chest anyway, pulse thumping down to his feet.

"Kageyama?" Suga sat up.

"My bad," Kageyama said. "I thought it was Hinata or Yamaguchi."

"…So what if it was?" Suga scooted closer. "You don't want people to see?"

Kageyama huffed. "Don't be ridiculous." It wasn't convincing or informative, but Suga dropped the subject.

Kageyama ate slowly for once, nibbling at the food between his chopsticks instead of taking it in one bite. Kageyama was hungry, and he was still eating, but he glanced at the corner of his eye at Suga's tufts of hair rustling from the wind. Suga rested against him easily, as if there was nothing strange about casual contact. Kageyama prolonged his chewing and biting to have an excuse to be quiet, turning over the thought and sensation of Suga's head on his shoulder.

"The bell rang," Kageyama said. "We should get up." Kageyama was reluctant to say it, since he wanted to stay, but Suga was stirring anyway.

Suga stood up, stretching an arm to the sky. Kageyama pointedly locked his eyes on ground, away from Suga.

Kageyama walked with him to trash can to throw out the trash, and through the door into the hallway. Very few people went outside during lunch, unless it was to go to the vending machine. Or to kiss and make out in secret. Kageyama wasn't thinking about that at all, and now that he remembered, a strangled cough came out. The sight of them walking back in would appear very suspicious to someone.

"I'm glad we had lunch together today," Suga said, oblivious to Kageyama's mind rolling around in his head.

Kageyama tugged on his shirt and dusted himself off, his hands empty without his school bag. He didn't have any other way to stall. "I'm glad, too."

Suga smiled at him. "I have to hurry up and get to class. See you at practice, Kageyama."

Suga paused, a hesitant wave drawing over him, his hands hovering and then settling at his sides.

"I thought we said we didn't have to ask for every little thing." Kageyama's mouth pinched from struggling to say that. Considering these kinds of things wasn't one of Kageyama's strengths.

"You're right," Suga said. "I think we should talk later about…this… It doesn't sound--"

"Suga, you're going to be late."

Suga lit up with understanding. "Oh! Bye!" Suga patted Kageyama's arm and took off running, skidding around the corner at a harsh brake to turn.

Kageyama snorted to himself.

 

* * *

 

Usually, Kageyama dreaded deep conversation, where the tone in someone's voice led into territory Kageyama could only handle slowly and painfully, and with terrible tact. That was the original reaction Kageyama had to Suga's suggestion to talk. 

Except, really, they needed to talk. Kageyama just didn't like making information public, information like their feelings for each other. Suga didn't have any qualms with it, and while they still didn't kiss, bumping their shoulders together with comfort that came from close friendship made Kageyama grimace and slide away.

Suga frowned. "What's wrong?"

"I thought we were going to talk after practice," Kageyama said.

"Of course we are. But what's going on right now?"

Kageyama glanced around before craning closer. "Can we not do anything in public? It feels really…"

"It makes you uncomfortable." Suga nodded. "I understand that. You don't have to stay quiet about it."

Kageyama turned his head. "I'm not that quiet."

Suga lifted his hand, about to reach for Kageyama's head, but he returned it and crinkled his eyes apologetically.

Kageyama was glad Suga remembered what he just said, at least. Suga kept himself from initiating anything too close for teammates to do with each other. Kageyama's glances were still frequent, fixed with the same hidden intent as before. Now the secrecy was for a different reason, but it didn't take the affectionate edge off. Kageyama couldn't look at him without the pleasant burn returning in his throat and chest, the kind that filled him with regret and hope and pinned his eyes in place. 

Kageyama's ears went hot and red when Hinata caught him looking at Suga.

"Why do you keep looking at him? Is there something on him?"

Kageyama elbowed Hinata in the arm. "Stop."

"Stop?"

"Stop." 

"Stop what?"

" _Talking_." Kageyama raised his elbow to push into Hinata's face.

There was no getting around someone catching him. Kageyama grunted and let it go, which was aided by the raised eyebrows from Daichi and Suga. Their disciplined silences made Kageyama drop it and pick up a volleyball instead.

Nothing else memorable happened during practice. Tsukishima met Kageyama with curious looks, but remarkably, he didn't bring up the reason behind them. Kageyama was sure that he noticed something at least.

Suga guided Kageyama away from Tsukishima and Hinata to start walking home. This time, they didn't wait for the others to leave, so everyone was heading home at once. Kageyama prickled from walking in front of some of them, especially Nishinoya and Hinata, but Suga drove him into conversation and they slipped from his mind.

"You can't stay for that long since it's a school night, but do you want dinner?" Suga asked.

Kageyama shrugged. "Sure." Kageyama kept his voice low so the others couldn't hear, but the dip of his head to murmur to Suga was as bad as talking loud enough for everyone. The proximity probably held more weight, now that Kageyama took in the upturned angle of Suga's head to listen, slightly closer to Kageyama.

It was for the best that no one could see their faces. Suga had a soft pull in his mouth, small enough to allow him to talk and still express the gentle sentiment. The strain of Kageyama's facial muscles told him that he was struggling to not do the same, except he had a horrible smile and he knew it, which was a persuasive reason to keep him from doing it.

The sounds of their teammates' voices and footsteps faded from splitting apart at different streets. They turned down one street and became alone, with Daichi, Nishinoya, and Asahi still going together in a group. Kageyama's shoulders tensed, as if that could ward against being seen walking away with Suga.

Suga leaned closer from the side. "You haven't seen my house before, have you?

"You haven't seen mine, either."

Suga pulled out a set of keys from his school bag and unlocked the door. "I'll visit yours next time, then."

Kageyama followed him in. Suga closed and locked the door as Kageyama milled around the entrance, picking at his shirt and looking up and down. Suga's house was an ordinary size, and Kageyama couldn't find anything that stuck out to him, but he filed away everything he thought was important. Kageyama was especially keen on seeing Suga's room.

Suga went straight there after they took their shoes off. Suga hung his school bag on a hook on the door, and Kageyama left his on the floor. He didn't take any care with it anyway, but at the moment he was more interested in paying attention to the blue paint of the walls, the computer desk, and Suga sitting on the bed, a clump of pillows behind him against the bed frame.

"Are you hungry now?"

Kageyama was about to say no, but he realized it was useless to lie to Suga. Suga had a knowing quirk to his mouth, and Kageyama was sure that Suga remembered Kageyama's enthusiasm in eating.

Kageyama remained standing. "Kind of."

"'Kind of'." Suga got up with a tongue click. "Come on, there's food downstairs."

Suga led the way to the kitchen. Kageyama held some restraint in his eating speed, but he managed to eat quickly, and Suga watched with amusement. Suga was still eating when Kageyama finished, and Kageyama then discovered that he had to sit quietly and wait for Suga.

Suga noticed. After he swallowed a bite, he gestured to the fridge. "Do you want any dessert?"

Kageyama let out a huff. Suga didn't seem to want dessert, but at the mention of it, Kageyama accepted anyway. He felt sheepish taking a scoop of ice cream when Suga wasn't having any.

"You don't want ice cream?"

"Not right now," Suga said. He swirled his ramen with his chopsticks, and he placed his chin on his other hand, propped up by his elbow.

Kageyama dug into his ice cream, licking from bottom to top with his hand on the cone. The only flavor Suga cold offer was vanilla, and Kageyama didn't mind. As he licked, he thought of how vanilla might be Suga's favorite flavor if it was the only one he had. It sounded like Suga. Vanilla flavor, grey hair, soft eyes, that was Suga.

Kageyama bit into the cone. Suga slowed down his eating, and he stared at Kageyama in the same position as before, one of his hands on the chopsticks.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" Kageyama asked.

Suga sat up. "I'm not."

Kageyama couldn't tell before, but now that he knew Suga was more focused on him than the food, Kageyama deliberately looked away. He took careful licks and stared at the table.

"We should head back up," Suga said after clearing the dishes and placing them in the sink.

Kageyama was down to the bottom of his cone. His mouth was sticky from the ice cream, and when he licked his lips he could still taste the vanilla. He finished the last bite as they climbed the stairs to Suga's room. Suga walked in front of him, and when Kageyama looked up, Suga's legs were immediately in his vision. Kageyama's mouth twisted sourly, and he looked straight ahead as he took more steps up, maintaining his eyes at a level height so he wouldn't glance up.

Suga sat on the bed, his eyes shining expectantly. "Sit."

Kageyama took a spot next to him. A light uneasy bubble slid into Kageyama's throat now that he knew he was coming.

"So you don't like being public?" Suga asked. He was ambiguous, but there was nothing vague about his hand moving into Kageyama's, smoothing the skin with his fingers.

"No."

"Why?"

Kageyama's hand fell limp under Suga's touch. "I just don't."

"You're right, you really aren't good at talking." Suga reached his other hand up to brush through his hair. "You don't want to tell anyone at all?"

"Tell them…what?" 

Suga's head tilted to reflect his confusion. "That we're in a relationship?"

Kageyama felt five steps behind. They never actually said it out loud. Kageyama could barely remember who confessed first. He just knew it happened.

Suga's face fell. "Uh… You do want to be, right? I assumed, since you sounded and looked--"

"Yes, I do, sorry," Kageyama said quickly to interrupt. Suga was about to go into a wordless ramble again.

"Maybe we should've been clear right from the start." Suga leaned closer, his head turned to face Kageyama. "I want to be in a relationship with you."

That was straightforward and upfront, and it left Kageyama unable to avoid it. He squirmed.

"Why? Why do you want to?" Kageyama asked. If it was anyone else, Kageyama wouldn't even consider asking since it sounded like an embarrassing thing to ask, but he wanted to know, and Suga wouldn't make fun of him for sounding insecure.

Suga grinned. "Why do I want to?" He moved his hand more to slot their arms together, crossing them at their wrists. "I know you can be intense sometimes, but I think it's endearing." Suga pushed up with his feet, straightening to get higher. He pressed his head against the side of Kageyama's, intentionally fitting their cheeks together, and squashing up Kageyama's twitching frown he was trying to keep down.

Suga was laughing, though, and Kageyama couldn't take that away. Suga nuzzled more, and the force made Kageyama almost tip over.

"What about you?" Suga asked. He pivoted his head to nudge at a different angle.

Words weren't coming to Kageyama. he started a sentence a few times and stopped talking, gesturing with his hand in the air unhelpfully. There were a lot of things about Suga that Kageyama couldn't put into words or say out loud, things just out of reach or just  _difficult_ to say, and Kageyama wasn't willing to say them.

"I like that you're short," Kageyama said. He furrowed his eyebrows together, sinking in his seat. "I don't mean you're  _short_. I, you're tall, but you're shorter and older, a-and."

Kageyama felt a burn stretch across his face to his ears. It was humiliating. Kageyama was trying to figure out how to say something about admiration, Suga being his senpai, and other inexplicable things.

"It's fine," Suga reassured him. His mouth was close to Kageyama's now, his breath warm and coming in subtle exhales. It was different from feeling other people breathing on Kageyama, which repelled him and made him gawk or gag. Even if it was warm with others, it was a stiflingly repulsive kind of warmth, like an overheating oven in dry summer heat. Kageyama was angling in more with Suga, though, and it made him embarrassed and jumpy, it made him want to duck and scoot closer at the same time.

Suga's mouth reached for his, with a little hesitation making him fumble. Kageyama wasn't confused about anything this time, he was very certain that Suga was the one initiating, Suga was the one nudging in and bumping his nose next to Kageyama's.

There wasn't much movement between them at first. Kageyama pressed against him and felt his lips give way, flattening from the pressure. It felt softer and warmer than touching his arms or cheek, but the weight of the gesture held more meaning than the sensation. Kageyama's chest felt pleasantly swollen with too much air and buoyancy from the kiss, and it also felt like air was being sucked out of him.

Suga pressed more, but he didn't fall still. He found something interesting about Kageyama's mouth, and Kageyama's stomach dropped and clenched at the insistence of Suga's lips concentrating and stroking. When Kageyama felt a tongue dab his bottom lip, he fell backward, a clipped gasp of surprise coming out.

Suga suddenly looked sheepish. "I got carried away. My bad." He gave a nervous laugh before adding, "I was just tasting the vanilla!"

Kageyama rubbed at his forehead. "The ice cream from earlier…"

Suga bent over with a grin. "Next time I'll have the ice cream, and you'll see what I mean."

Kageyama swallowed and licked his lips together. The taste of sugar and vanilla was still there. 

He sat up to fix Suga with a direct stare. "Don't do that when other people are nearby."

"I know." Suga sighed, and that sound seemed to set the tone for talking. "If you don't want to go out in public, then are we supposed to sneak around?"

The phrase  _sneak around_ left Kageyama's stomach curling in.

"Yes."

"And dates? Are we not going to do that?"

Kageyama groaned. "I didn't mean we can't. We'll just hide from people we know if we see them."

"That doesn't sound easy…"

"You don't care if people see us kissing?" Kageyama asked.

"I don't know. Maybe."

Kageyama slouched, his feet dragging on the floor. "I do," he mumbled.

"We're probably going to be too busy these next few days to do anything. So at least we don't have to worry about it right now. Just inter high," Suga said.

"Inter high…" Kageyama repeated. That was important; that has to be more important. "We should practice together."

"Don't you practice enough?" Suga asked.

"I want to practice with you."

Suga brought his hand to his neck, his mouth moving in a small smile, his teeth showing. "I don't know why I didn't expect that from you."

 

* * *

 

Suga hesitated more around Kageyama, but it was to reconsider how close to be with him in the gym, how much distance to use between them and how much to do together. 

He hesitated, but that didn't stop him from trying to get away with things. Being vice captain gave him some leniency, such as with helping oversee stretches and favoring Kageyama over the others. Even with a coach, Daichi and Suga still walked around the team occasionally for hands on help.

"Kageyama, you need to stretch your arms more," Suga said. He reached forward to hold Kageyama's wrist, sliding his arm along Kageyama's to guide it into another stretch. This wasn't blatant, but it was borderline inappropriate. Someone like Tsukishima could call them out for flirting, or Daichi could ask them what they were doing. The only consequences were funny looks, the few times Suga did that. It wasn't  _that_ bad, at least. Suga wasn't intentionally or suggestively slow, and their arms were what met, not their whole bodies. What Suga really did was pass by Kageyama and murmur in his ear, innocent words that still made Kageyama work his mouth into a frustrated line.

"Stop doing that," Kageyama said after practice, motioning between their arms to remove ambiguity.

"It's not kissing, but if you don't like it, then I'll stop." Suga tilted his head. "At least it doesn't tell anyone that we're dating."

It was still hard to acknowledge and remember that they're dating, but Kageyama let it go instead of saying it.

"Just pass the ball," Kageyama said. He extended his hands to accept it when Suga threw it to him.

They were at Suga's house again, practicing alone in the backyard. Kageyama set up water bottles to send serves to, but Suga tended to miss them. His didn't fly through the air at the same speed, either. Suga's face twisted up after noticing.

"My serves are weak."

"Hinata's are worse." Kageyama bent to straighten the water bottles. "Your receives are much better, too."

"Thanks, Kageyama."

Kageyama didn't pay attention to Suga's tone, but when he got up, he saw Suga smiling.

"What?" Kageyama asked.

Suga patted his head, forcefully enough to make Kageyama blink and turn his chin down.

"You don't give praise to anyone," Suga said. He swatted at Kageyama's head. "Although you shouldn't put down other people to do it. Especially Hinata."

Kageyama slipped his hands to his head, rifling through his hair as if he was inspecting with his fingers. "I was just saying the truth."

Suga's weight switched to one of his feet, his hips committing to the movement and shifting with one side turning up. "You should do it more often. And to other people, not just me."

Kageyama's eyes went into a disinterested slant, sliding away from looking at Suga's hips. "Some people are too annoying."

"it's how you make friends, Kageyama. Try it once in a while."

Kageyama grumbled and muttered it under his his breath, repeating it lowly.

Suga stood up to kiss the corner of Kageyama's mouth. "It's not as painful as it sounds."

Kageyama didn't believe that. To convince Kageyama otherwise, Suga demonstrated, ruffling Kageyama's hair and speaking to him in his ear. Even though Kageyama had a warning and knew it was coming, he brought his shoulders up and ducked slightly.

"Good job today, Kageyama."

Kageyama pushed his hand away. Reluctantly, but Kageyama would rather show his annoyance than cave in to the hand on his head.

"There's no  _way_. I'm not going to ruffle someone's hair."

"I know. I just wanted to." Suga's eyes crinkled, and he curled his hand to scratch in Kageyama's hair. He leaned in closer. "I can do it all the time for you, if you'd like."

" _No_ ," Kageyama said.

"I like doing it. And you look all red. Like right now."

Kageyama's mouth opened to protest, but instead, Suga reached his other hand to pinch Kageyama's nose.

Suga laughed. "You're really cute, you know."

Kageyama angled away. He felt like he just swallowed a balloon, and it was trying to float him off the ground. Or a hot air balloon, heating up his face.

They continued to practice for a little while longer. Kageyama offered to help Suga with tosses and serves, but they quickly figured out that Kageyama was a horrible teacher.

"It's hopeless, Kageyama. You can't teach in the same way Nishinoya can't, either."

Kageyama huffed. He wanted to help Suga out. Watching each other didn't feel like it was enough, but Suga told him it was alright.

 

* * *

 

The morning of inter high, Kageyama packed his sports bag for the bus ride and volleyball matches. Kageyama threw in supplies such as extra clothes and food, but his mind was drifting to thoughts of Aobajousai. There was a good chance that Karasuno would play them, especially if they defeated Datekou. Karasuno lost to them a few months ago, but Kageyama was confident that they could put up a better fight with him and Hinata on the team now. 

Kageyama had a history with a bunch of players from Aobajousai. There weren't any real negative feelings with Iwaizumi, just the residual awkwardness from Kageyama being a clumsy inept first year in middle school. Kageyama sensed that Oikawa didn't like him, which grew when Oikawa refused to teach him or sent petty glares his way. The biggest problem in Kageyama's mind was Kindaichi and Kunimi, though. Even if Kageyama said nothing to them this weekend, they would still act aloof and uneasy near each other.

Kageyama felt like he didn't know what he was talking about with himself. It would just be difficult playing against Aobajousai when Kageyama compared himself to Oikawa over everything setter related.

Around the corner of Karasuno, Kageyama saw Hinata locking his bike and lifting his head to glance at the gym. Hinata started heading to the gym, and Kageyama felt the confused irritation in him manifest into a burst of energy and speed. Kageyama easily overtook Hinata, and Hinata was too surprised to recover from the sight and the blur of black darting by. Hinata tripped and almost fell.

Kageyama's chest swooped with pride. He was also coughing, since he was unprepared for that sudden bout of running.

"I have 31 wins, 30 losses, and 1 tie," Kageyama said when he caught his breath. He wiped over his face and rummaged in his bag for water. The close score between them left Kageyama scoffing to himself, but it was the true score. Hinata had undeniable speed and stamina, regardless of other talents.

"You're wrong," Hinata said. His head rose from where he collapsed on the floor.

"Like hell I'm wrong," Kageyama snapped. "I won that time."

"I have 30 wins…and 32 losses," Hinata mumbled. "I lost to you last year. It was a crushing defeat, but it was only one game."

Hinata got to his feet. He was short, but Kageyama's attention was pulled in to bend his head down.

"If you're the reigning king of the court, then I'll overthrow that title and be the one who stands on the court the longest. I will definitely be the one to defeat you."

Kageyama thought it was useless making that kind of declaration when they were on the same team and couldn't defeat each other. They both got sucked into the moment and yelled at each other, although there was no aggression in their words and emotions.

The third years appeared in the middle of it, and when Suga cleared his throat, Kageyama swiveled his head and focus to them.

"The bus is all ready for us to go," Daichi said.

Everyone began to gather in front of the bus, lining up and pairing off for seats.

"Sit in the back?" Suga asked Kageyama.

"Please."

Kageyama stepped on first, heading straight for the seat all the way in the back. He heard Tanaka talk with Hinata, and Kageyama assumed that Hinata was sitting with him.

"We're probably going to play against Datekou," Kageyama said. 

Suga wriggled in his seat. "I know, I know."

The bus pulled out of the parking lot, and Suga settled against the window with a sigh after recovering from the change in momentum.

"I think I would be more bothered by it if I was the main setter, or if Asahi and Nishinoya weren't here," Suga said. He stretched up with his neck and back and yawned, although he didn't look tired.

Kageyama sat stiffly, his mouth tight and sealed together. They were behind everyone, so no one could see them unless they turned around and looked. Kageyama was tempted to move closer to Suga, but he was wary of the risk of being seen.

Kageyama slid down on the seat to avoid detection, ducking behind the seat in front of him and scooting to the side. Suga pulled on his arm to bring him closer.

"I'll be fine," Suga said. He patted Kageyama's arm. "I think I'd be more worried about Asahi. I'm not even going to be on the court."

Kageyama knew Suga meant well with that, but taking Suga's spot didn't sit comfortably with him. Kageyama huffed and deflated, sinking further down and resting on Suga's shoulder.

Suga tensed. At first Kageyama assumed that Suga was surprised or intended to move away from him, but Suga was moving his head to face him. Suga's mouth landed near Kageyama's, and the insistent pressure told Kageyama that it wasn't an accident. Suga didn't actually reach his mouth, but he led his mouth to Kageyama's after a few seconds, and he leaned in more, his hand pushing on Kageyama's shoulder.

Kageyama's words were strangled in his throat, and they came out muffled against Suga's mouth. It wasn't a deep kiss, but Suga wasn't pulling away. It was as calm as their first kiss.

Kageyama moved his head back to speak. "What if someone sees?" he asked in a hiss.

"We're all the way in the back." Suga bent his head, and at the turn of his lips, he added, "duck down more, then."

Kageyama's back rubbed against the seat as he slowly lowered himself. Suga followed, and while they weren't completely lying down, Suga's head was now at an angle over Kageyama's.

Suga still didn't deepen the kiss. His lips were warm, but they felt flat in the movements. That was when Kageyama realized that Suga didn't know how to kiss either.

Kageyama was choked up with so much surprise that he coughed, hard and loud. Suga scooted back in alarm, and a few heads popped up to turn and look. Kageyama sat up with his hand on his mouth, trying to keep his coughing in. Part of it may have been laughing, but Kageyama couldn't tell.

"Are you alright?" Suga asked. His hand went to Kageyama's back, patting and rubbing to dissuage the coughing and the charged air between them. Kageyama didn't know what everyone saw, but Suga didn't seem to be panicking to hide anything with the way he was acting now. 

"I'm fine," Kageyama said. He edged his shoulders to make Suga's hand fall away, eyeing the heads facing them. After they returned to sitting, Kageyama slouched.

"What happened?"

Kageyama's mouth flickered through a brief smile. "You don't know how to kiss."

Suga yanked on his arm. "That's not something you should say."

Kageyama hunched down more in his seat to avoid the team's eyes. He wanted to try kissing again, but it was a terrible idea. He remained still, crossing his arms and keeping them to his chest.

Instead of continuing, Suga lowered himself too, his head coming to the side of Kageyama's and resting there. Suga's hair rustled up against his, and after a few moments of silence, Suga lifted his hand and brushed it though Kageyama's Kageyama blinked against the contact.

"I was wondering how we'll do against Datekou, or even Seijou if we win against Datekou," Suga said softly. "But now I think I have complete faith in your abilities."

Kageyama felt his head retreat into his shoulders, his stomach swooping at the comment.

"I-It's the other people we should worry about," Kageyama said.

"Well, I know, but I thought I should say it. You handle pressure better than me or Hinata, so I know it won't bother you."

Kageyama definitely remembered Suga bringing this up before, when Kageyama was unintentionally making Hinata think too much about the Seijou practice match. Suga called himself timid. Suga seemed more confident than Kageyama, and that was what Kageyama thought when he talked with Suga that day.

Kageyama turned his nose up. "You think so?"

Suga's hand rested on the top of his head. "Yes."

"I still think it'll be hard," Kageyama said in a mumble, his lips too tight to fully move.

"Why?"

"Because of Oikawa." Kageyama made a disgruntled exhale of air. "You didn't get to see him in the practice match, but he's a really skilled setter."

Suga shifted and sighed, his breath falling over Kageyama's neck. "Karasuno isn't a weak team, either."

Kageyama decided to drop the subject. He unfurled his arms to his lap and relaxed, staring ahead with unfocused eyes, thinking absentmindedly about Suga as Suga's breathing evened out into a nap.

 

* * *

 

Kageyama bristled walking through the hallway at inter high. He didn't realize that he was well known among high school players, and he heard people saying his name and glancing at him. Kageyama swiveled around when someone called him king.

Suga rested a hand on Kageyama's arm to steer him away. "Don't let the competition get to you," Suga said.

Kageyama set his mouth in a frown. While it was…nice having recognition, it was a dubious honor being stuck with this title. It also wasn't something Kageyama wanted Suga to hear over and over.

Kageyama distracted himself with warm ups and stretches. From what he heard, the next team wasn't going to provide a real challenge, so Kageyama didn't have to worry about losing. The match could prepare them for later matches at inter high, anyway.

Suga bumped shoulders with him. "Good luck, Kageyama," he whispered, his mouth twitching good-naturedly as he leaned forward to deliver the sentence.

Kageyama tried to elbow him away. Suga playfully reached over his shoulder, his hand grabbing Kageyama's arm, and Kageyama grunted half-heartedly under his breath to knock it off. Suga's arm made it's way past Kageyama's side, and the light brush made Kageyama stiffen.

"No, really,  _stop_ , you're tickling me," he hissed. He stepped away, and he saw Suga looking smug.

During the match, Kageyama was aware of being watched by Suga. It was impossible to escape it, since the setter was the focus of several moments and plays. Everyone on the court was watched by the audience anyway.

Kageyama didn't want to preen at the game progress, and he didn't want to seem proud or smug, but he ended up doing it. Kageyama quietly rubbed his hand at his chest and shifted his eyes around happily at the surprised murmurs from the spectators with each quick he performed with Hinata.

The win was a little empty when the other team, Tokonami, lost by a landslide, but Kageyama still appreciated Suga's grin and and warm hand falling on his back.

"I knew you could do it."

Kageyama shrugged. "It was easy."

He ducked when Suga's hand came to his head, sending his hair into disarray and fluffing it up in the opposite direction that it was brushed in. Kageyama brought his hands up to smooth it back into place, grimacing when he realized some of their teammates were watching him do it.

 

* * *

 

There was a small break after that first match, for them to rest and for their next opponent to finish their first match. Kageyama bristled at the touch of Suga's hand falling on his back, guiding him out of the gym alongside the rest of the team filing outside. Suga was laughing and talking with teammates, nodding his head as if he wasn't distracted or occupied with his hand on Kageyama. Fragmenting attention somewhere else didn't remove the contact or lessen the casual intimacy, and Kageyama couldn't brush it off as easily as Suga did. 

When the team split up for individual resting, Suga's hand moved to Kageyama's arm. "Can I speak with you for a minute?"

Before Kageyama could respond, Suga's other hand reached out and grabbed Hinata's arm, jolting Hinata into surprise and making him yelp.

"You too, Hinata," Suga said.

Suga released them when the others were too far to listen to the three of them. His hands fell, and one of them shifted back up to rub at his neck.

"Datekou is the team we lost to last spring," Suga said. "Asahi was repeatedly blocked, and he temporarily quit volleyball."

Suga's voice didn't have the same close warmth that it did for just Kageyama. He was quieter, matching the tone of the wind blowing through his hair.

"I'm not going to be a starting member or setter, but you are. And you have the strongest decoy with you. I want you two to help Asahi on the court. Clear the path for the ace, like you do for Hinata. It would mean a lot to me."

Hinata raised his hand. "Yeah. Sure, no problem. Right, Kageyama?"

"Right."

Suga's lip twitched. "Thanks for listening."

Hinata's eyes lit up. "Oh, right, this is your last inter high."

Kageyama's throat surged with a sharp drop, and it fueled a jab to Hinata's stomach.

"Don't make him feel worse."

Hinata clacked his jaw. "Yeah, that's your job," he grumbled. 

The information sat in Kageyama's stomach after Hinata reminded him. Kageyama was aware that this was Suga's last inter high, but it didn't really hit him until Hinata's words punched in. A thorny sensation was left lingering in Kageyama's stomach, guiltily twisting and turning over.

Kageyama didn't realize that it was visibly etched in his face, but Suga was looking at him with a soft smile, head tilted knowingly.

"It's alright, Kageyama," Suga said.

Hinata's eyes slid away, looking out of place between them.

"Is that…all you wanted to ask?"

"Hm? Oh. You can go, Hinata."

Hinata nodded and took off to join the rest of the team. Tanaka had a volleyball with him and HInata called out for it, extending his hands as he yelled.

"I don't want to feel like I'm fighting your battle," Kageyama said, eyes on Suga. "If I were you, I'd hate to be stuck on the sideline."

Suga swept his hand over his head, resting it at the back of his head as he shifted on one foot. "We've gone over this already. I'm fine with you taking charge. You have the makings of a great player."

Kageyama's mouth set to the side.

Suga nudged Kageyama's arm with his own. "Come on, let's go, Kageyama."

He pulled on Kageyama's wrist, and Kageyama haltingly stumbled after him, mouth still tight in a frown. When they made it back to the team, Suga patted over Kageyama's back, pretending to dust him off to erase how he held Kageyama's wrist a moment ago. Tugging him by the wrist wasn't as significant or suspicious as holding his hand, but Kageyama eyed Suga anyway. It wasn't something Kageyama would readily do with just anyone, and he was sure that the team got that vibe from him.

 

* * *

 

Despite being a "prodigy," Kageyama had a sense of inexperience. He had a powerful serve from individual practice, but without testing it on real living targets, he didn't have the same pinpoint control that he naturally had with tosses. Kageyama sometimes sent his serve directly to players on the other team, and once it embarrassingly went straight to the libero.

The feeling wasn't as strong as when Kageyama tossed to Asahi. Kageyama felt a disconnect, as if Asahi was much more emotionally attached to the outcome of this match, these specific circumstances that arose for this to happen. The feeling made Kageyama think that Suga deserved to be here. Kageyama didn't deserve to be pulled either, though. A victory like this probably wasn't going to feel fulfilling to Suga. At least they were both selfish enough to want to win.

Kageyama was still grateful to hear Suga's encouraging shouts from the sideline. Suga gave special attention to Kageyama, which wasn't enough to leave Kageyama fumbling but it made him frown. His mouth pinched and tightened to mask any visible manifestation of the flip in his stomach. The skin of his face stretched to accommodate his frown, and Kageyama felt it burn. Hopefully it wasn't a noticeable red. He didn't think Suga intended to get this reaction.

Suga slipped out of focus seconds after Suga gave an encouraging yell. Kageyama concentrated on the rhythm of the game, especially the frequency he used Hinata in quicks. Neither of them had much high school volleyball experience, but they learned from practicing with Nekoma how to use a rhythm for the quicks. Kageyama now knew not to show off a special quick right at the start of a match, even if it was tempting. The reaction was always entertainingly priceless.

Having a weapon waiting to be used made Kageyama calmer than usual. He was going to use it at some point anyway, but after the first few points where Hinata didn't even come up, Kageyama was secure in the knowledge of having a safer strategy to fall to.

Fearing the decoy brought the other team to a slight scramble when Kageyama tossed to their other blockers. Even when Hinata wasn't used, he was useful in this way, drawing attention away from everyone else. Kageyama could see when Datekou committed too much to Hinata, in the same moment that he saw Asahi bringing up the rear of attack, as if he was calling for the toss.

_Clear the path for the ace._

Kageyama didn't hesitate.

 

* * *

 

In the middle of the victorious clamor, teammates yelling and jumping in the air, Suga's arm fell around Kageyama, his weight sinking and catching on Kageyama's body.

"You remembered," Suga said, breathing heavily from the adrenaline and excitement of watching.

Kageyama turned his head twisting to meet Suga's eyes. "Remembered what?"

Suga lowered his arm to Kageyama's elbow. "I told you that the best toss for Asahi is a bit away from the net." Suga grinned as he gestured to the court, at the net. "I saw you do that for the very last toss."

Kageyama's throat rumbled a little, and he ducked into his shoulders.

Suga laughed in his ear, his arms and shoulders shaking with laughter. "Come on, let's get ready for the next match."

Suga removed himself from Kageyama. Their closeness was acceptable in the middle of the brief celebration, so Kageyama didn't think anyone noticed.

Aobajousai's match was still going, so there was enough time to stop by and watch. Karasuno took their seats on the other side of the gym, although many of them ended up standing and leaning onto the rail. They left their belongings on the first row of seats behind the rail and looked over the rail a few steps away.

Kageyama quietly bent his arms on the rail and watched. He didn't see much of Oikawa at the practice match with Aobajousai, but now Oikawa was here on the court in front of him. Kageyama couldn't avoid being confronted with Oikawa's skills here.

Suga grimaced. "They look really… I mean…"

"I know what you mean," Kageyama said.

"…I didn't really say anything." Suga rolled his shoulder to his mouth, smiling into it. "I don't know how you understand when someone is vague. Come to think of it, when Nishinoya first joined the team, he gave a horribly ambiguous explanation and you understood that, too."

"I understood the feeling behind it. That's what I meant," Kageyama said heatedly. He jutted his chin away in the other direction, but then he realized that the others could see the humiliation dusted on his face, and he jerked back.

Suga dropped his chin onto his hands. "So, that's Seijou's setter."

Kageyama sunk on the rail to sulk. "Yeah, that's Oikawa," he mumbled. "That's what we're playing against."

"At least you know what he's like as a setter. We don't But you're also our setter, so if anyone were to know, I'm glad it's you."

Kageyama let out a huff of air. Suga wasn't going to sound so optimistic once the match began.

Aobajousai won their match easily, with a ten point difference in both sets. Kageyama wasn't surprised t the outcome, but the silence from the rest of Karasuno told him that they were.

"In our first match against Tokonami, we won by a lot, too," Kageyama pointed out. 

"Yeah…" Hinata trailed off.

Kageyama sighed and followed Suga out to the parking lot. They boarded the bus once everyone was accounted for, and Kageyama leaned back against the seat, intent on falling asleep.

 

* * *

 

Warm ups the next day were filled with loud shouting and cheering. It was mainly for Aobajousai. Even with Karasuno yelling their loudest during practice, they couldn't outdo the enthusiasm of Aobajousai's fans. 

Kageyama's eyes drifted over to Nishinoya, hoping that Nishinoya didn't attempt another rolling thunder. It was motivating for some of them, but it was also mortifying. It would be worse now that they were in a more important match, with more spectators and a stronger feeling of competition.

When warm ups ended, both teams headed onto the court for the official start of the match. Kageyama passed by Oikawa, his mouth rigid in its concentration. Oikawa had the satisfied self-assurance of someone who was confident they were going to win, smiling at Kageyama and Hinata asking them to do their best. It made Kageyama bristle, but he wasn't actually tensing in anger.

It was frustration at himself, Kageyama realized. OIkawa had the ease to improvise and do what he wanted without hesitation, like a dump shot. And his actions didn't have the feeling of childish whim. It came from practice, experience, skill, and composure. The combination left Kageyama more frustrated, struggling to keep up on his own.

Kageyama definitely felt a little panicked when Seijou called a timeout. He could tell that Oikawa figured out the signals behind Kageyama's quicks.

"I can't believe he figured out our signals already," Kageyama said.

Suga gave him a sympathetic look, eyes flitting from Kageyama to Aobajousai and shifting to a harder edge in them.

Kageyama heard snickering, and when he turned, he saw Nishinoya with his hand crushed into his mouth. Tanaka's head was bent in silent laughter.

"Kageyama's face looks scary," Nishinoya said. 

"But his face always looks like that, Yuu. He drinks milk with that expression, and it gets worse when he tries to choose what to buy."

Kageyama's mouth snapped open. "What? N-no it doesn't!"

Nishinoya and Tanaka burst out laughing. When a third voice joined them, Kageyama swiveled around.

"Why are you laughing?!"

Suga moved his arm to his face. "Sorry, Kageyama."

"If you were sorry, you'd stop laughing. No, you wouldn't even be laughing." Kageyama pressed his mouth together, but his lip felt like it was twitching in a pout, so he tried to compress his lips more. His cheek puffed out, and Kageyama knew that he wasn't striking a normal expression to convince them to stop laughing.

Suga patted Kageyama and sent him off, back onto the court once the timeout ended. Kageyama received Suga's gentle back pat with stiff shoulders.

"You seem a bit tense," Suga told him. "It's alright to be afraid or irritated, but it looks like you're over-thinking it."

Kageyama wanted to tell Suga, "easy for you to say," but that was bitter and rude when it had nothing to do with him. Kageyama forced his shoulders down after Suga tried to smooth out the tension in them with a brief hand on them.

Kageyama had to be switched out with Suga anyway. He crossed his arms after it happened, the tension back in his shoulders. His face was twisted regretfully, steely with the mental replay at the failed dump shot and missed tosses. His shoulder stung from when Suga squeezed it reassuringly on his way onto the court.

Kageyama watched as Suga talked to their teammates and cuffed them on the arm or chest, smiling at them afterward. Time was what Kageyama apparently needed to calm down, but it was calming in a different way to watch Suga walk around and give gestures and signals, jog to catch up with the ball to block, or set a toss in motion. Suga was the only Karasuno player on the court to be completely rested since he didn't play earlier, even in the matches yesterday, so he had plenty of energy. Kageyama swayed a little with his movements, and the gentle reflection in his eyes skimming over the ball and the players on the other side.

Suga wasn't shrewd the way Oikawa was, Kageyama could tell. Suga couldn't toss quickly, switch into a different attack in the middle of one, pinpoint weakness in a team's set up to exploit them, or react with the inventive mindset it took to spur something new into place. Suga drew on what he already knew, experience and rapport, and the steady way he acted on the court meant he put a lot of forethought into what he did. He helped Hinata successfully block, and he knew how to use the team similarly to how Oikawa drew at the best of his own, although Suga's was form mutual companionship and Oikawa's from calculated observation.

In a break after the first set, Kageyama stood stiffly and nodded to Suga's words. They both separately realized that Kindaichi's jumps to tosses were delayed, and they both still wanted to play on the court. Kageyama was calm by now, for the most part. He was still embarrassed about the mistakes he made, but it was blunted by his interest in how Suga handled himself.

Suga wrung his wrist and rolled his shoulder. "I know it feels like we're competing to be setter, but I'm glad that we're on the same team, Kageyama. The court isn't so scary when you're right behind me to take my place and add to the rhythm we both started. It's reassuring having you waiting in the wings."

Kageyama tilted his head. 'So it makes you happy when I take the pressure off?"

Suga gave a light smack to Kageyama's arm. "That's not what I said."

"But you said that to me a few weeks ago. When Asahi joined," Kageyama said.

"That's not… What I meant." Suga uncrossed and crossed his arms. He uncrossed them again when it was time to remake the court for the next set, and Suga waved at Kageyama as he left.

Kageyama shifted his feet while returning to his place on the sideline, turning over Suga's words in his head. Kageyama felt horrible about being benched ever since middle school, and he didn't think there was anything good about being on the sideline. He thought Suga felt the same.

The way Suga put it, though, calling Kageyama a reassuring person at his back… It made Kageyama's throat and chest balloon. Everyone always told him that he had talent, but no one told him that he had a reassuring presence, or that the sideline was a repository of feelings between teammates.  Kageyama could return to the court, and Suga was counting on him to switch places and regain control.

Kageyama wondered if Suga intended to bring this up and make him feel better about being on the sideline.

 

* * *

  

Kageyama's eyes fell to a blank stare on the floor, mirroring the expressions on everyone else's faces from Karasuno. Some of them were hunching over or wiping an arm over their faces, sighing very heavily after an exhausting game. 

Seijou won. Kageyama thought they had a chance, but in the end, Seijou's collective level of skill and teamwork won. Kageyama pressed his hand to his forehead, his fist digging in, but there wasn't any cathartic pain or something else to make him feel better. He just had a headache, and he was tired, thirsty, and covered in sweat. The headache was from concentrating so much, Kageyama knew; he worked so much on the tosses that it sometimes took a strain on his head, and he usually didn't notice until he already felt the headache creeping in.

Suga's face was clouded with the same expression Kageyama saw before, a few weeks ago, when Suga was truly pushed away as the other setter in the match with the neighborhood association. Suga wasn't angry then, and he wasn't now, but Kageyama was. He was tired and angry.

Kageyama dragged his hand down his face after a fight with Hinata, his hair wet from briefly dunking it under a faucet. 

"Kageyama, you look…wet," Suga said when he found Kageyama. It didn't look like he was out of breath, so he wasn't running in a hurry to try to find Kageyama.

Kageyama shoved a hand in his hair. It was just as wet as before.

"I'm exhausted. Let's just go home," Kageyama said brokenly.

He took a step and tried to move past, but Suga's hand reached for his arm and held fast, twisting to curl his arm around.

"There's always the spring tournament, you know," Suga said softly. 

"And you're going to stay with volleyball for spring?" Kageyama asked.

Suga nodded, quickly and enthusiastically enough to convince Kageyama. 

"I still want to play more games. I can't have these past few be my  _only_ matches for my last year." Suga lessened his grip. "Not that they were terrible." 

"I believe you." The intensity of Kageyama's frown lessened as well. "But… I hate that we lost…"

Kageyama slipped out of Suga's arm. He turned and kicked the wall. "Damnit," he muttered under his breath. 

He could see Suga hovering nearby, his arms in the air as if he wanted to pull Kageyama back. He tucked his arms back to his sides.

"We lost, but I think you surprised Aobajousai. 'King' doesn't fit you anymore. That's obvious now." Suga bent at the waist a little. "I even saw you smile in the last set."

Kageyama glanced down to pick at his finger. He forgot that he tried to do that. He was mimicking Suga, and it came out horribly. "No I didn't."

Suga's own smile surfaced. "Alright, you didn't."

Kageyama didn't hear a note of sincerity in that.

Suga sighed, drawing out the tension of his smile and becoming neutral again. "I know you're upset now, but I also know that this means you'll be extra motivated for next time, right? I don't think I know anyone more dedicated to volleyball than you."

Kageyama didn't have a comment for that, either. He looked at the floor again, tapping his foot against the other.

Suga motioned away. "We should get going."

"Right." Kageyama rubbed at his eyes. "Let's go. I'm hungry."

The two of them walked to rejoin with the team, eventually congregating in front of the bus. Kageyama was still irked about the spat between him and Hinata, so he dodged around Hinata's gaze and took a seat next to Suga. It felt like a temporary atmosphere stretched thin between them, so Kageyama wasn't concerned about it lasting long. If Suga noticed, he didn't bring it up.

 

* * *

 

Suga insisted on having a real date, and now that inter high ended, there was less pressure and more free time for them to actually try. 

Kageyama wished they could just browse through the mall, walk around idly and eat, even if they didn't buy anything other than food. That was also one of the most likely places to be seen by anyone, especially on the weekend, since Suga didn't want to do it on a school night. Kageyama didn't want to go to a ramen shop, since that was were Kageyama and Suga ate alone a few weeks ago, and he didn't want to categorize that as a real date. Returning there would make it feel like it was. And that was one of Daichi's favorite places to eat, too.

Kageyama slid down his seat. They decided on going to lunch, and thankfully, they weren't sitting in view of the window.

"You're on edge," Suga said.

"No, not really." Kageyama turned his head. Every few seconds he swore he saw someone he knew pass by.

Suga tapped Kageyama's leg with his foot. "No one from school is here."

"I know, I know." Kageyama shook the foot off. He sent Suga a glance, his eyes narrowing for a second before he redirected his attention to his meal. Both of them chose soup, and Kageyama also ordered a sandwich. He alternated between picking up bits from the soup and biting at his sandwich, and sipping at the soup when he wanted to heat his throat.

Suga ate slowly, nibbling with a contentedness that Kageyama envied. At least with his paranoia, it could conceal the fact that he was truthfully on edge from being on a date.

Suga's eyes flashed, and his mouth stretched mischievously. "Kageyama, do you want some?" he asked, waving around the air above his bowl with his chopsticks.

Kageyama shrugged. "Sure."

Kageyama reached forward to take a piece for himself, but at the same time, Suga's chopsticks lifted a chunk of tofu and wedged it into Kageyama's mouth.

Kageyama dropped his chopsticks. He covered his mouth with his hand, and after swallowing, an owlish flicker of surprise fell over his eyes. "Did you just feed me?"

Suga clicked his chopsticks together. "'No, not really,'" he said in a deep voice, hitting a false tone of inflection that Kageyama knew was supposed to be mocking.

"I don't sound like that…"

"You're right." Suga tilted his head, his attention caught by something, and he leaned forward. "You have something there," he said, gesturing at Kageyama's mouth before pressing his fingers against the side of Kageyama's face.

Kageyama knew there wasn't anything there. He elbowed the hand away and rubbed at his face. "This is why I don't want people to see," Kageyama said. Suga had a way of twisting things around, even if it was innocent.

"I see what you mean. I think someone like Tsukishima would have a heart attack if he saw us."

Kageyama continued eating for a minute. While his mouth was full of sandwich, Suga talked absentmindedly, but Kageyama could tell that Suga was dancing around the topic of volleyball.

"So, you're really going to stay for spring," Kageyama said quietly.

Suga paused. "Is it hard to believe?"

"No. I'm just…happy."

Suga's hand landed on Kageyama's head, and Kageyama suffered through a head ruffle.

"I'm glad, too, Tobio."

**Author's Note:**

> (General A/N that exists at the end of all my fics): I find unsolicited concrit really rude, I'm not looking for any. Please don't tell me someone was OOC/something happened you didn't like/it's too short/etc. in any bookmarks or comments.


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